


Surrender

by Kca1516



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha!James, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Bullying, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, OOC, Omegaverse, Smut, Veritaserum, alpha!lucius, alpha!sirius, beta!Peter, beta!regulus, beta!severus, breif mention of molesting, collar kink, omega!lily, omega!narcissa, omega!remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 05:01:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13474221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kca1516/pseuds/Kca1516
Summary: This is an A/B/O fic with omega remus it may be out of character at times but it was an idea i couldn’t get out of my head and now here i am in 2018 writing harry potter wolfstar fanfiction idk dont judge me too hard~~~~~~~~~~Remus Lupin is a week away from heat when certain Slytherins decide they want revenge, and they will get it. But, who will be more damaged from recent events, Remus or Sirius.*the marauders are very much a pack in this with lots of touchy feely stuff*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this was just for fun plz don’t get mad at me if the characterization is off, this was just an idea in my head. If im missing any tags you think should be added plz tell me. Updates will be on Monday as of rn. Hope you like this fic, hopefully its better then the summary.

Remus gazed out through the Gryffindor common room windows, a glazed look over his eyes.  
Outside the sky was dark, even though it was only mid-afternoon, and snow was turning the campus into a winter wonderland.  
A lazy smile made its way onto the omega's face as he thought of Sirius out there now, snow dusting his dark hair like a crown. Of course, his alpha wouldn't let it stay there long. Sirius would waste no time shaking his head like the dog he was, trying to get rid of the flurries.

Sirius, a subject Remus had no problems latching onto, his alpha.

His stupidly wonderful alpha, who was at the moment serving detention with Hagrid. Knowing the groundskeeper, he probably had Sirius scooping up hippogriff dung, a job Moony did not envy.  
Remus didn't even remember what this detention was for. Prank gone wrong? 'Forgot' to turn in his essay for Transfiguration? The omega didn't bother keeping track anymore, though he did know that when Sirius got back he'd be in a right fowl mood.

"Moony," James said, nudging Remus's thigh with his sock clad foot.  
"Yeah," he answered, still stuck in his own head.  
"Ugh, when did I become the responsible one," James murmured to himself. The alpha sat up with an exasperated sigh while running his hand through his unruly hair, and fixing his glasses. 

James and Remus had curled up together on the faded red and gold couch next to the fire. The omega was doing homework, while the alpha was taking a nap.  
Actually, James was just trying to keep an eye on his Moony, to make sure no one bothered him this close to his heat. (Though he knew that if Remus ever found that out, he'd kick his ass)

"Love," James said throwing his arms around Remus and snuggling into him,"I know that all you want to do is daydream about Sirius fucking you senseless, seeing as your heats so close," Remus blushed and made to protest that that was not what he was thinking about (not this time at least) however James just carried on,"but you're going to be so stressed the week after your heat when you have a million homework assignments to do because you didn't get anything done this week. And, since you know I hate seeing you stressed Moony, dear, I suggest, as much as it pains me to say, that you do the work now."  
James gave him a 'you know I'm right because that's what you tell me all the time' look, that Remus glared at. 

"You just want my help for whatever prank you're planning next week, and you know I won't bother with you until I've finished my homework," Remus mumbled affectionately, rolling his eyes. James drew back as if truly offended, and dramatically threw his hand to his forehead,  
"Oh Moony, how you wound me so. When all I wanted to do was help my-"

"Oh give it a rest, James," came a new voice that was accompanied by flaming red hair,"when we spend my heat together you save your homework for the last minute and then guilt trip Remus into letting you copy his."  
Lily gave James a peck on the lips before sitting on the large arm chair closest to the fire.

"Oh Lily, thank god, I was about two seconds away from strangling him," Remus said, at James's expense, to his friend and fellow omega.  
"I know the feeling," she said with a smile.  
"Hey," James complained,"I'm right here you know."  
"Trust me, we know," Lily told him.  
Remus chuckled, not bothering to come to his fellow marauders aid,"That's why you’re my favorite Lily."

James rolled his eyes admitting defeat, and turned away from his (traitorous) girlfriend to face Remus.

"Seriously Moony, you'll feel much better once you finish your work, you just have stay focused a little longer and then your done."  
James then kissed Remus's cheek lightly and plopped back down on the couch,"I'll be sleeping if you need anything. That means if you have to go anywhere Remus I'm going with you, so wake me up. And, might I add a good day to my beautiful, wonderful, fiery, sexy..."

"James."

"Lily," James said with a smirk before curling in front of the fire, and in no time was truly asleep.  
The redhead rolled her eyes affectionately before opening her book to read.

Ever since Remus could remember, the marauders had been close.  
They always seemed to be nudging shoulders or laying ontop of one another to the point where you couldn't distinguish where one started and the other ended. When Remus's heats started that bond only...grew. The other marauder's touching progressed to light kisses pressed to Remus's cheeks or forehead.  
When it first started (somewhere back in second year) people were confused about the nature of their relationship. Not that the boys payed any attention to the prattling of their classmates, for it soon became obvious that there were no romantic feelings involved, just strong platonic ones. Within the week no one batted an eyelash at it, figuring it was just another marauders thing they could never understand. 

Of course, once James had finally managed to get a date with Lily, the redhead had to adapt quickly to the small (and sometimes not so small) touches she began to receive from the rest of the boys as well.  
Back in third year, Sirius and Remus finally got their act together and started dating. Both boys would deny it (seeing as they had fallen in love far before hand) but it took Remus's heat to finally bring them together. 

The omega visibly shuddered, at the memory.  
His heats, at the time, had led to a lot of unwanted attention from people who didn't understand the word no.  
Remus had rejected almost half the school's alpha population within a month of his first heat.  
He could easily remember the feeling of utter disgust whenever an unwanted alpha had slung an arm around his shoulders or tried to hold his hand. 

'I don't want any of them,' he remembered telling the marauders who had suggested to simply pick someone to date so the entire school would leave him alone. They were getting as frustrated as the omega with all the suffocating attention.  
Remus later realized it was affecting one of his friends more then the others.

Out of nowhere, Sirius started getting angry with Remus more and more often, or would storm off when an alpha would try to get his attention. There was one day were Sirius flinched when Remus tried to give him a peck on the cheek. After that Remus had kept from touching the alpha at all, afraid of rejection.  
Sirius had always been so kind and loving when it came to Remus that the sudden cold shoulder made him terrified that he was losing his best friend. The best friend that he had completely fallen for.  
Then, one day, the marauders were all congregated outside the Great Hall when a blushing, stammering Ravenclaw came up to Remus asking if he wanted to go out.  
Remus made to politely turn them down, Sirius did not.  
It seemed the alpha had had enough.  
He punched the unsuspecting Ravenclaw square in the jaw, then tugged a protesting Remus into the Great Hall where the entire student body was eating lunch. The angry alpha had stood ontop of the nearest table and shouted at the top of his lungs so everyone heard,  
"Remus J. Lupin is taken, keep your filthy hands off him."  
Sirius then proceeded to hop down from the table and snog Remus senseless.  
After that no one bothered him, and he had an alpha.

"Remus...Remus...Remus!" 

The omega jumped out of his thoughts once again before groaning,"Ugh I was doing it again wasn't I."  
Lily nodded sympathetically,"Your heat's really close isn't it. Three days or so before mine starts, I'll feel like I'm going crazy if James isn't within five feet of me."  
Remus nodded his agreement, thankful to have another omega around. Sirius and James were alphas while Peter was a beta. Although he loved them with all his heart, it was nice to have someone who really understood what going through heat was like.  
With a heavy sigh he picked up his forgotten quill and parchment from the table in front of him.

"James is right though, I have to concentrate enough to finish this stupid Charms essay and then I'm done," Remus said, annoyed, realizing he still had two paragraphs to write.  
Lily closed her book silently and stood from her chair, pulling on gloves and a scarf as she went.  
"Well I'd offer to help, but I promised Alice I'd take a walk with her in the snow so we could discuss a muggle book we finished reading. Good luck Remus," Lily said giving him a kiss on the top of his head before running out of the common room.  
"Be careful," Remus called after her.

He listened as the Fat Ladies portrait opened and closed, and then Remus was stuck in the common room with no more distractions. (Besides a snoring Prongs, but after living with him for six years Remus barely noticed it)  
"Ok, I can do this," Remus told himself determined to have this over and done with so he could go back to daydreaming of Sirius. Though he'd be damned if that little fact reached any of the marauder's ears.  
With a sigh, the omega lifted up a piece of spare parchment to find the book he got from the library on Charms...but it wasn't there. Dread settled in his gut.

Frantically, Remus started looking for the missing book. He had never lost a library book in his life and had always kept them in prime condition. The librarian, Madam Pince, had developed a certain liking for him due to his consideration. Therefore, she had always turned a blind eye to the more questionable things he checked out (aka books that could aid in the marauders pranks because lord knows she'd never give them up to James or Sirius). If he lost this book he had no doubt she would be annoyed with him, and he really couldn't afford to loose her hard earned trust.  
Where could he have put it last? Remus had it with him for Transfiguration and Charms, and the last place he had it was... Potions.  
Oh shit.

Remus didn't know whether to feel relief or dread. On one hand, he knew where the book was. The omega could practically picture the old, dusty book hiding underneath his chair. On the other hand, the Potions classroom was right next to the Slytherin common room. Remus knew if he were seen alone by the wrong student...well let's just say their were loads of Slytherins who would like to have a go at him.  
Then, of course, he'd also have to bring Prongs with him.  
A couple years back, Sirius and James had developed a system where they accompanied Remus wherever he went the week before his heat. It was a well known fact that omega's were more likely to be assaulted during this time. It was when they were at their weakest, and smelled the most enticing. 

At first Remus absolutely refused the idea, he didn't need babysitters. But, later that week someone had tried to touch him, and he hadn't been able to stop them. Something he normally would have been able to do with a flick of his wand. The only reason the alpha hadn't gone all the way was because Sirius had heard his cry for help. His alpha had gone feral, and the attacker had been stuck in the infirmary for two weeks.  
After that, Sirius made him promise not to go roaming the castle alone. He had agreed.  
But, though Remus understood the necessity of the situation, he didn't like it.  
The omega knew if he ran into any Slytherins while Prongs was with him, well... James was prone to fights. His best friend didn't know how to keep his mouth shut for the life of him, and Remus was not getting dragged into a brawl. He was already antsy, what with his hormones going crazy and Sirius not being around, a scuffle was the last thing he needed.  
Yet, the only way he saw that not happening was if he went alone.  
Which was an option he felt guilty even considering seeing as it would give Sirius a heart attack. He felt bad making it an option at all.

But...what if...  
No, Remus scolded himself, don't even think about it.

Yet, as he looked at his sleeping friend, he had to admit the idea grew in appeal. What was the point in waking up James to make a quick trip down the hall? What kind of friend would that make him?  
Besides, neither James nor Sirius ever had to find out Remus snuck around the school alone. What harm could really come to him in such short amount of time anyway. Remus was an omega, he wasn't helpless.

"Ugh, fine," Remus murmured, annoyed with himself. But, he couldn't handle any chaos right now, he was on edge as it was. He was only going to go out for a quick minute to grab his book, and come back to the common room.  
With a plan firmly in mind, Remus slowly lifted James's feet off his lap, as not to wake him, and grabbed his wand before heading to the door.

Yet, as he stood up, Remus felt his legs start to shake.  
As if they weren't strong enough to support him. His heat really was close, maybe he shouldn't....

You’ll be fine, he reassured himself.

The omega easily brushed off any lingering sense of worry. Fatigued muscles were a common symptom when it came to his heats. It wasn't anything to get worked up about as long as Remus had his wand with him.

"I'll be right back James," Remus whispered to his sleeping friend as he opened the portrait that would lead him out of Gryffindors common room. He stepped into the dimly lit hallway and closed the door as quietly as he could, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.  
He waited a few seconds to make sure he didn't hear James's angry footsteps following him, but no sound was heard.

Remus turned to head off to the Potions classroom, when a shrill voice made him freeze.  
"And, where do you think you're going Mr. Lupin. Walking around the school this close to your heat, and without an alpha present, that's very risky you know," The Fat Lady said sternly from her portrait.  
Remus turned around plastering his most charming smile on.

"Oh, hello Miss Granglmin," Remus had found out her real name two years ago, as it made her positively giddy when used,"you're looking lovely as always- though...wait is that a new bow in your hair it does look absolutely stunning on you."  
Remus knew damn well that the ugly ribbon in her hair was the same one he'd seen for six years, but he also knew that it took barely a sentence to get the Fat Lady off topic.  
Remus did appreciated her concern, but he didn't want her to get him caught.  
"Oh hush you, you flatter me too much. It is in fact a new bow-" 

Remus almost laughed at the blatant lie, but chose instead to slink off into the shadows while the Fat Lady was otherwise occupied.  
The omega smiled to himself, this was almost too easy.

Remus began to walk with a little bounce in his step, people often thought of him as the accomplice to the marauders. They thought he was only there to make sure no one went over board. Little did they know how deceiving Remus really could be. Just last week he had charmed the food at the Slytherin table so that whenever one of the students reached for it, it sprouted legs and ran away. The teachers finally noticed when an entire turkey started running down the isle, did a flip in the air and landed right in front of Dumbledores face. The Headmaster had burst into peels of laughter.  
Though that wasn't the end of that episode. Later, when Professor McGonagall had questioned the four about it, Remus had blatantly sweet talked his way out of detention. 

He had prattled on and on for half an hour in circles until McGonagall was so confused she had sent them all off to bed without even a warning.  
When they had gotten back to the common room Sirius had promptly shut James and Peter out of their joined bedroom so he could properly give his gratitude to Remus. And dear lord had he been thankful.  
The memory of that night made the boy blush. Noises he hadn't known he was capable of making had been vocalized as Sirius showed him all the different things he could do with his tongue...

Remus almost ran into a suit of armor.  
James was right, he really couldn't get Sirius out of his head.

The omega brushed himself off, and took in his surroundings realizing he was outside the Potions classroom.  
With the blush still on his face, Remus made to open the door, but drew back his hand just in time when he heard voices from inside.

"...How much longer before he gets here you think?" He heard an irritated male voice say,"We've been here close to half an hour and the little wench still hasn't come."  
"Patience, Lucius," a female voice answered,"no one ever said Gryffindors were bright. It probably took him an hour or so to even figure out his book was missing. Once we get him here, it will be easy."

"And why is that?" Came another male voice, this one sounded younger,"I-I just mean, isn't Rem- I mean the halfblood, he'll try and put up a fight won't he?"  
A cruel laugh echoed throughout the room and into the hallway where Remus stood frozen. Had someone almost said his name?

"Put up a fight? The halfblood's been flaunting his scent around the castle for days. Everyone knows he's barely a couple hours from heat, he'll be too weak to put up any fight. Then we'll show my dear blood traitor of a cousin why he should be more careful with his pets."

Remus felt clammy, and his hands were shaking. He no longer had any doubt that the people in the room were talking about him. They knew the condition he was in right now, and they planned to use it against him. Remus realized if he stayed around any longer he'd be in trouble.  
The omega turned from the door, and tried to make as little noise as possible while getting away.  
He was almost at the end of the hall, when it happened.  
His legs, his shaking, unstable legs gave out on him, and Remus went crashing into a suit of armor. His wand flying out of his hand.  
If the sound of his shocked scream didn't alert the students inside the Potions classroom to his arrival, the clang of metal against granite floor surely did. Almost immediately Remus heard the voices again.

"What was that?"  
"Severus, go see what it was."  
"Do you think it was him?"

And then, the words that made a twinge of fear settle in his stomach.  
"Merlin...everyone come quick! It's him."  
Remus reached for his pocket to grab his wand, but found it empty. He quickly scanned his surroundings as he heard footsteps running to get him. He spotted the wand at least five feet away from him, and knew he wouldn't make it.  
His only option was to run, but in his state running was a fools options.  
Before Remus could think of any sort of escape plan, two pairs of hands forcefully grabbed his arms and hauled him to his feet.  
The omega came face to face with Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black, Severus Snape... and to his horror Regulas Black.

"Hello, Remus," said Narcissa, all to smug,"I think it's time we had a chat."  
She held up a potion vial, an evil grin spread across her face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied updates are going to be on friday because that’s when im free  
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated  
> All the love

Remus was thrown down, unceremoniously, onto the hard floor of the Potions classroom.  
He barely had the strength to brace himself from the fall, but thrust his shaking arms out at the last second. The hit reverberating throughout his body.  
He heard the telltale click of the door being locked, and felt any hope he had left, plummet. He wasn't getting out of the room until they let him. Even if Remus had his wand, he was clearly outnumbered.  
The omega swallowed against the lump in his throat, and gingerly moved to his feet.  
If they were going to use him as a punching bag, he would at least go down with his dignity in tact.

But, the Slytherins weren't having it.

"Who told you you could get up," spat Lucius, who raised his wand, digging the tip into Remus's windpipe. Remus saw the unhinged glint in his eye, and knew the alpha would have no problem cursing the living day lights out of him.  
"If you thought this was going to be easy you have another thing coming," the marauder said with a collective calmness he didn't feel. If anyone bothered to look (and Remus prayed they didn't) they would notice he was positively quivering. And not in the way Sirius praised him for.

"Just, get on the ground," came the slightly scared voice of Regulus who was watching the exchange go down. Remus chanced a glance at him and saw the rest of the sentence the boy was too cowardly to say.  
Just get on the ground...it will be easier that way.  
Remus was appalled.  
How could this boy be related to Sirius? Sirius who never let himself, or anyone he cared about be pushed around. Sirius who fought tooth and nail to be seen as good, even with his last name. Sirius who damned the consequences and always did what he believed was right. How could this boy be related to his alpha when all he wanted to do was save his own skin?

Remus had no doubt that was why Regulus had said anything to him in the first place.

So, no, Remus would not roll over and show his belly. He would make Regulus regret every wrong decision he had made that led him to this moment.  
Without turning his attention away from the seething Lucius, Remus addressed Sirius's brother. "You're a coward Regulus, and you will get no pity from me."  
Before the last word had even left his mouth he felt the zap of a stinging spell hit the side of his face. He tried not to show the pain, but knew he had whimpered as he felt his eye swell shut. Remus had no doubt it would be black and blue for days.  
"How dare you speak to him you filthy halfblood," came Snape's livid voice from the side of room where he had just cursed him.  
He made to send another spell his way when Narcissa stepped in.  
“Stop Severus, not yet. He has to stay conscious for this part," she then turned her icy glare onto Remus,"Like I said before, we're going to have a little chat."  
A coldness seeped deep into Remus's bones at her words. It made him wish for the beating. 

A couple punches from the boys and they would be done. It wouldn't matter he had done far worse to himself anyway. But, the way Narcissa's eyes lit up with glee made it obvious that this was premeditated.  
The omega looked like she had spent hours working this plan out, had looked into every possible detail that could go wrong and accounted for it. She looked like she wanted to break him, and Remus didn't know if he was going to be strong enough to resist.

"Get him on his knees, boys," she ordered.  
Before Remus could put up a fight, two heavy bodies were on him. Malfoy and Snape each grabbed one of his arms and kicked at the back of his legs until he sank to the floor with a hard crack. Screaming pain shot up from his knee and Remus’s eyes filled with unshed tears. He refused to cry in front of these people.  
At first the omega tried to struggle, but that only resulted in the two Slytherins twisting his arms, just so, that if he moved the wrong way he would quickly dislocate his shoulder.

"Isn't that better Remus?" Narcissa asked condescendingly,"I mean, you must know by now that you should show respect to those who are better then you. Maybe all those alphas have a point, you do belong on your knees."

Remus seethed,"Go to hell."  
Narcissa mouthed twitched into a frown.  
"Lucius." She said.  
From behind him, Malfoy pulled on Remus's hair, forcing the omega's head back to avoid getting his hair ripped out.  
Remus couldn't help the whimper that came out of his mouth.  
"You will speak to her with respect," Lucius whispered harshly in his ear. It made the omega shiver in disgust. 

"Sorry," Remus panted,"Go to hell, bitch."  
He knew the comment would earn him another hair pull, and that his head would be sore tomorrow. But, he refused to back down. Remus braced himself for the pain, but before Malfoy could pull...

"Wait, Lucius," came Narcissa's clipped tone, he had gotten to her,"we're getting off track, we made a plan and we're sticking with it. Let go of him."  
Malfoy's hand slipped out of his hair, without complaint, and that scared Remus.  
Malfoy, Snape, Regulus, they were all just puppets, Narcissa's puppets. They would do anything she told them to, and Remus truly believed anything wasn't an exaggeration. 

Something was coming, something terrible.

Narcissa reached inside her black, velvet robes to pull out the vial she had shown him earlier,"Do you know what this is, halfblood."  
He didn't bother answering, and she didn't bother waiting.

"This is Veritaserum."

Remus felt his body go limp with terror, it was for such a quick second that no one bothered to notice it.  
Because once that second was over? Remus fought.  
He threw his weight against the two Slytherins holding him, desperate to escape their grip. For a second or two, the omega had the upper hand and almost managed to get to his feet. But, even if he was at his strongest, Remus wouldn't have been able to win. He was brutally pushed down again. The omega's bad knee hit the stone floor once more, and he didn't bother holding back a scream. It didn't matter anymore if he showed them pain or fear. The second that potion touched his lips, he'd be done for.

"I see you've heard of it," Narcissa said with a smile.  
Of course Remus had heard of it, and the bitch knew that too well.

Veritaserum: the only potion that could force the drinker to answer any question completely truthfully.

He'd have no control over the words that came out of his mouth, and Remus had plenty to hide. He couldn't let that potion anywhere near him.  
"Now, understand Remus," Narcissa said as she unscrewed the vial,"that this really isn't anything personal. But, Sirius has gotten on our last nerve with all the pranks. Now it's our turn, and we know how to make him tick. Imagine his face when he finds you beaten and bloodied, terrible right? Now imagine how much worse it will be when he realizes how thoroughly...violated you were."  
Remus was fuming, his face red with anger and pain, still trying to fight against his captors.

"Snape," she said suddenly,"open his mouth."  
Before Remus could blink Snape was pulling on his hair so hard he gasped.  
As soon as his mouth was open, the vial of sweet liquid was forced down his throat.  
Remus spluttered and coughed, immediately trying eject the potion from his system. But, it was too late. He could already feel it sliding down his throat, sinking into his skin making him shiver, until he knew it was no use fighting anymore.

"He'll torture you," Remus said, panting,"you know it's the truth because I can't lie. Sirius will not hesitate to do everything but kill you, simply on principle."

Narcissa bent down so that they were face to face. Remus glared into her soulless eyes trying to convey as much hatred as possible.  
"That's exactly why he’s weak, he could never do what would be needed to do to protect you. He could never kill us."

"And he’s stronger for it!"  
Remus shouted at her, not only in rage but also hoping someone might hear him. Someone help him before he tells these bastards something he would never be able to take back.  
"Remus...just tell us some of Sirius's secrets and we'll let you go," Regulus cut in before Narcissa could get at Remus again. He was sitting on one of the tables trying to sound bored with the whole affair, but the slight tremor in his hands gave him away. Remus turned his anger onto Regulus.

"You want a secret? Is that what you want? Here's a damn secret Regulus, sometimes he worries about you, and I don't know why because you are nothing but a cowa-"  
The sound of skin on skin contact echoed in the room. Remus tasted blood as pain bloomed in his right cheek. Regulus had punched him.

"You know what Narcissa, I think we're asking the wrong questions. The way to get to Sirius isn't by revealing his secrets...it would be by revealing the secrets of the person he loved most in the world. And, I believe that person is right here in this room."

Fear, Remus had been trying to force away, burned his throat. His body ached from the beating it had taken. Everywhere Snape and Lucius held him felt like fire pricking his skin.  
He had hoped that even with the potion he wouldn't be able to tell any of Sirius's secrets. Sirius never kept anything from Remus, they couldn't be considered real secrets. 

But, Remus, he had secrets, lots of them, and the potion was itching at the back of his throat to release every single one.

"So, Remus, where should we start?" Regulus asked.  
"How about..."

Not werewolves. Not werewolves. Not werewolves...  
"How about his...love life. If you can call it that," came Narcissa's disgustingly giddy voice from behind him.  
"I always hear him and Sirius doing who knows what in the closet across from Charms. It's disgusting how anyone could so much as kiss this one never mind have sex with him. But, I geuss Sirius pitied him enough..."

That was almost as bad.

It was no secret to anyone who knew him that Remus was self-conscious.  
He thought himself a monster, and the idea was only driven home when the scars started to appear after every full moon.  
He wasn't pretty like other omegas. He was too skinny, too tall with purple bags under his eyes and skin that looked like it had been used as a chew toy. It had taken months of Sirius calling him beautiful to even feel comfortable taking his shirt off in front of him.  
Hell, the first time they had sex Remus had been shaking head to toe in fear that Sirius would up and bolt. It had taken a year for Remus to believe Sirius wasn't going to leave him, and the fact that they had such an active sex life now was nothing short of a miricale. But, Sirius had been patient and kissed all his scars and loved all his demons. And the last thing Remus wanted to do was tell these people any of that.

"Tell us Remus..." Remus started to panic,"do you sometimes think you're not worthy of Sirius?"

Yes. He wasn't worthy. If life were a fairy tale Remus was the dragon and Sirius was the Prince who saved the beautiful princess from his evil clutches. Leaving Remus alone.  
He didn't want them to know any of that, but no matter how hard he bit his lip, the answer slipped out.

"Yes," he whispered, but the room was so quite the word seemed to bounce off the walls.  
"And, tell me Remus, do you sometimes wonder if Sirius really loves you? Because from where I'm standing it looks like he's using you. He hasn't even bonded with you properly."

Remus cringed like he'd been slapped, the physical pain nothing compared to the anguish of having all his deepest darkest thoughts out in the open. Back in fifth year, Remus and Sirius had decided to wait until they were out of Hogwarts to properly bond. When a couple was first bonded, there was a need to be with their mate so powerful, if they were apart for too long it became painful. Sirius and Remus had both decided it was too risky, not wanting to put the other through any discomfort.  
But, sometimes, when Remus was having a bad night, he wondered if Sirius just didn't want to be with him.

"I-I don't know," Remus couldn't help but say, wanting to curl up in a ball so he didn't feel so exposed.

"And, maybe, once in a while, you think the only way to keep Sirius with you is by sucking his cock. You'll gladly bend over anywhere, as long as it means he'll stay a little longer. Because deep down, you know you'll never be what he truly wants...am I wrong?"

"...no."

Remus refused to let the tears blinding his eyes fall. It was true, all of it, it had to be. Sirius didn't love him, Sirius was going to leave him, he didn't deserve Sirius...

"What on earth happened here?" Came a confused voice from the hallway. Everyone in the room froze, that voice was recognizable anywhere. It was Professor McGonagall.  
Remus's weak body hit the floor as Lucius and Severus let go of him. Immediately, the omega curled into a ball, hoping they would forget about him.

"Quick someone knock him out, and let's get out of here," whispered a panicked Lucius.

"Stupify," he heard someone whisper, and he blacked out to the sound of running feet and a tear sliding down his face.

~~~~~~~~~~

Everything hurt.

That was the first thing Remus noticed as he slowly woke up in the infirmary.  
His body as a whole ached. Though he came to the conclusion that his head, knee, and shoulders hurt the most. Remus tried to sit up, but even found that menial task difficult and finally plopped back down. 

What had happened?

What seemed like distant memories started to flash through his head.  
The Potions classroom, the Slytherins, the Veritaserum. Each event played over and over in his mind like a broken record. Bile rose in his throat, but he managed to keep it down. The tears that sprung to his eyes were a little harder to stop.  
The omega felt vulnerable, alone...and thoroughly violated. Just like Narcissa wanted. Remus curled his hands into fists.  
He didn't want to give her the satisfaction of crying, no matter how much he ached to sob. He refused to be played like a puppet. Refused to have a hand in hurting Sirius.

Sirius, Remus realized, horror struck.

It felt like every happy memory he had of his alpha was tainted by the Veritaserum.  
Did he really think Sirius didn't love him? Had he been fooling himself this entire time?  
But, even thinking it Remus didn't believe it. He knew Sirius loved him. He knew it like he knew the godforsaken snow would melt and the sun would come and shine again. Yet, what he had said before also had to be true.  
Remus let out a groan and put his hands on his head. He didn't want to think about this, he just wanted Sirius.  
All of a sudden, the doors to the infirmary burst open and he heard shouting. Remus shot up in bed, panicked, afraid it was the Slytherins again. But, he quickly recognized the voices.

"...Mr. Potter, you can not be in here. Mr. Lupin is asleep, and even if he weren't I wouldn't let you see him!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed.  
Her annoyance was enough to send full grown trolls running for the door. But, when his best friend wanted something, he got it.  
Remus didn't know who was scarier.

"Please Madam Pomfrey, I have to see him, I can't leave him here alone, especially without-"

"James?" Remus called out for his friend.  
The voices stopped, and then he heard running footsteps. He sat up just in time for James to throw open the curtains around his bed.  
"Remus," he said, pure relief in his voice.  
He made a move to hug Remus but stopped himself, not wanting to damage his friend further. But, the omega wasn't having it.  
He had felt so alone and scared the past couple hours, it felt like a lifetime had passed since he heard a familiar voice. Remus opened his arms, silently demanding a hug.  
It was all the confirmation needed, James rushed to him. 

James's smell enveloped Remus as strong alpha arms encircled him. It relaxed him...just not enough. Even with the soothing presence of his friend, he needed Sirius.  
James pulled back too soon for Remus's liking and plunked down on the side of his bed.

"If you ever do that to me again Remus I swear to god I'll-Ill..." James huffed, and ran his hands through his hair,"Just, don't ever do that again."

"I'm sorry," Remus said, seeing the clear distress in his friend. Feeling a stab of guilt for knowing it was his fault.  
Just then the curtain around his bed was, once again, flung open by Madam Pomfrey.  
She grumbled under her breath, annoyed that James was still there, but then moved to help Remus.  
"Hello Mr. Lupin it's good to see you awake. Though, you really should still be resting. Your knee was fractured and will take the rest of the day to fully heal. The back of your head is raw, I gave you a salve you have to put on it every hour. And, the side of your face was cursed with a stinging hex. You’ll have to be careful the next couple days to make sure you properly heal, but you should be fine by your heat next week. And of course your chosen heat mate will be informed."

Remus was once again reminded of Sirius, and felt his lack of attendance like a knife to the gut.

"Speaking of," Remus said, trying to sound nonchalant, "where...where is he? Where's Sirius?"  
He failed completely. The omega hadn't meant to come across desperate, but damn...he was. 

James looked at Remus, and started to fiddle with his hair. An action Remus knew meant he was nervous. It felt like the alpha didn't want to answer him. 

"Remus...Sirius is still in detention with Hagrid. I went down to get him as soon as I heard what happened, but-well...for detention, Hagrid took him into the Forbidden Forest. Even with help it would take ages to find them. I'm sorry, you won't be able to see him until they get back."

Remus shook his head, panicking,"No...no I need him now please-"  
"Calm down Remus," James said firmly, effectively silencing the omega. 

"You and I both know that as soon as he gets back he’ll be at your side. He loves you Remus, he'll be around you so much you'll get sick of him. Just wait ok."  
Remus nodded.  
Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat reminding the two boys that she was still there.  
"As much as I hate to interrupt," she said a little exasperated,"Mr.Lupin I was hoping you would mind telling us what happened?" She finished a little kinder.  
James too looked at him expectantly.  
But, he couldn't. 

Remus didn't want to tell anyone what happened, he didn't want them to know how weak he was. He didn't want to talk about the Veritaserum, or the truths it made him tell. He'd rather them leave him alone.  
Remus wanted Sirius, it was a constant ache inside of him that called for his alpha pushing any rational thought from his head. Sirius would take care of him just like he always did.

"Mr. Lupin...bullying of this severity is something the school takes very seriously. You would be protected from any further attacks, but you have to tell us what happened," Madame Pomfrey insisted.

But, Remus was already shaking his head,"No," he insisted.

"What!?!" James squawked in disbelief.  
"Remus, please, tell us what happened. Or...at least tell me, you know we can help you. Sirius and I won't stop until the bastards who did this are-"  
Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat and gave James a look.  
"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all.

"I-I don't want to talk about it, I just need Sirius," Remus insisted.  
James face fell, hating that his best friend was in so much distress and knowing he could do nothing.  
"I know, love...I'm so sorry," James took Remus's hand and gave it a kiss.

"Mr. Lupin please tell us what happened," Madam Pomfrey said, desperate, but James came to his rescue.  
"He won't tell you anything, he's made up his mind. There's nothing we can do now but wait for Sirius," James said.

Madam Pomfrey threw her hands in the air and left Remus's bedside. They could still hear her muttering angrily even after she had pulled the curtain closed.  
"You know that we're really not going to let you go anywhere alone anymore right?" James said once Madam Pomfrey was out of earshot, effectively changing the subject.  
Remus nodded, glumly.

"I can't find it in me to feel guilty about that either," James said again.

"I know," Remus answered, avoiding his eyes. He knew James was disappointed in him. The non-stop talking wonder only truly shut-up when he was angry. 

"You should have waken me up," James spoke, trying not to sound hurt.

"I know that now," the omega replied, trying to diffuse his friend. But James was far from being done.

"You’re my best friend, Remus, I was really scared," the alpha insisted.

"I'm sorry," he said, meaning it, then continued talking so James wouldn't be able to say anything more.

"I fucked up, and I get that you’re mad. But, please don't hate me, I can't lose you, too."

James looked confused, sitting farther on Remus's bed so that he was almost on top of the other boy.  
"Remus...Who do you think your losing?"

The omega cursed, realizing he had said too much,"Forget it," he muttered, looking away.

"No I will not forget it," James said angrily,"Remus J. Lupin you are not losing any of us, especially not the person I think you're referring to. And definitely not me. Am I absolutely furious with you, yes. But, you're my best friend and I love you, don't forget it."  
Remus smiled slightly, irritating the hexed side of his face. James didn't know the truth. Once he told Sirius what had happened, his alpha would be so dissapointed in him. Remus would lose him. But, it felt good knowing maybe he wouldn't lose James too.

"Love you too, James," Remus said making James smile.  
"You should probably get some rest now. It'll make time pass faster until Padfoot-"

But Remus never found out what James was gong to say. Because just then the doors to the infirmary opened with a bang. James jumped to his feet, hiding Remus behind him. Remus was trying to catch a glimpse of the new comer.  
He couldn't see much, but the long black hair and messy appearance was all he needed to know.  
Sirius Black had arrived.

"Get out," James growled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday hope everyone likes the chapter (do i realy think Remus would act the way he acts in the chapter normally, no. But, the heat is messing with him and sometimes you just need someone so yeah)  
> All the love

"Get out," James growled.

~~~~~~~~~~

"W-what?" Sirius heard Remus whisper from where he stood at the door, enraged.  
James was blocking most of Remus with his body, but Sirius caught glimpses of his omega. Broken, beaten, scared.  
He growled deep in his throat, the urge to protect his mate cutting into him like a knife.

Even without proof, Sirius had known something was wrong. It was why he had been able to get out of detention early. He had felt anxious and antsy. The alpha had never been that far away from Moony when the omega was so close to heat.  
The worry had eaten away at Sirius until he was certain he was loosing his mind.    
What if Remus went into heat early and was in pain without him? What if someone tried to hurt or take advantage of him? Hagrid had noticed his inattentiveness, and had finally sent him back to the castle to be done with him.  
Sirius had never felt so grateful, and had raced back to the common room, only to find Lily and Wormtail wearing holes in the rug...

~~~~~~~~~~

"Where is he," Sirius automatically asked, dread filling his gut.  
"Hospital wing," was all Lily had time to say before the alpha had raced from the room...

~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius didn't know what happened, or who was truly to blame. But, he was pissed. Specifically at James.  
The dirtbag he called a best friend had let his Moony get hurt, and now James thought he had the right to keep Sirius from Remus? How fucking dare he.

"You bastard..." Sirius growled at the other alpha, pure rage filling his voice. Sirius couldn't help but feel pleased when he saw a glimpse of fear in James's eyes before it was masked by indifference.

"Sirius, go. You need to calm do-" 

The alpha saw red. 

"How dare you tell me to calm down. If you had been with him this wouldn't have happened. He's hurt because of you!" Sirius growled, getting right up in James's face before punching him. The hit echoed throughout the room. Sirius heard Remus's sharp intake of breath, and almost felt guilty for what he was about to start. Almost. Remus still lay, hurt, in a hospital, and that sure as hell was not something Sirius took lightly. 

James stood, frozen in shock. His friend had never hit him like that before, like he meant it. James never thought he would see the day that Sirius truly wanted to hurt him, but that only thickened his resolve. What he was about to do, needed to be done. James socked his friend hard in the gut, winding Sirius who shot a glare his way.  
Neither boy thought to pull out his wand. Some things had to be done the old fashioned way.

In a matter of seconds all hell had broken loose. Both alphas were rolling on the ground, without a clear winner in sight. But, Sirius was angry in a way James had never seen before, and it wasn't long before James found himself flat on his back.  
Sirius punched his friend over and over unable to stop himself. He was furious.  
How could James have let this happen? Sirius had trusted him to look out for Remus, and he had let both of them down.  
His mate had been attacked, beaten, and left alone with no help in sight. His scream for help echoed in Sirius's head over and over again, calling for him. A deep pain filled Sirius when he realized...he hadn't been there, either. He was to blame more then James could ever be.

“Sirius."  
"Sirius."  
"SIRIUS."

The alpha stopped hitting James, confused. The screaming...the screaming wasn't in his head.  
Remus's voice wasn't of his minds creation. The omega was crying Sirius's name for real.  
All of a sudden, Sirius didn't seem to care about James, or getting revenge. His focus was completely on Remus.  
Sirius looked over his shoulder and saw his omega hyperventilating and screaming his name while Madam Pomfrey (who must have come out when she heard fighting) tried to calm him down. Sirius made to sprint over to his omega, but James had recovered his strength.  
The alpha grabbed Sirius around the torso, and flipped them over. James quickly brought his friend to his feet before he could start struggling, and started hauling him towards the door.

Sirius let out out a startled cry, and fought against the grip with all he had.  
"Pads...Padfoot," Remus kept calling his name over and over again. It killed the alpha inside to hear it. His mate needed him, but Sirius couldn't reach him.

James almost had Sirius out the door, causing more panic. He couldn't leave Remus, not like this.  
So, using all his strength, the alpha threw his head back hard, hitting James's face. Pain bloomed in the back of Sirius's skull, but, he had a feeling it was nothing compared to James who cried out,"Fuck," as a sickening crack reached Sirius's ears. Still, the grip didn't loosen.  
Remus was getting farther and farther away. And the farther away Sirius was taken the louder Remus screamed for him.

RemusRemusRemusRemusRemus...  
Repeated over and over in his head until he realized he was saying it out loud, too.  
"Remus!" he screamed back to the omega before he was thrown into the hallway, and out of the infirmary. The doors closing behind him.  
Sirius crashed into the hallway, unable to stop himself with all the pent up momentum. But, like a spring, he bounced off the hard surface of the wall, and made a beeline for the door. He was going to get to Remus using any means necessary.  
James quickly lunged for Sirius once again, using all his strength to prevent his friend from reaching his destination.  
"Let...go...of me," Sirius growled, trying to pull out of James's grip.

"Not...until..you promise...not to break into the infirmary...you bloody bastard," James said, just as out of breath as Sirius, who had freed his arm just enough to elbow James in the face.  
Their fight, previously forgotten, came back with a vengeance.  
The boys crashed to the floor again, each trying to get the upper hand, all the while managing to call eachother every name in the book.

"You...promised you wouldn't...let him get hurt...you lying...prick, I trusted you," Sirius gasped out while James had him pinned by the throat. Though not for long, when Sirius kneed him in the groin.  
"Holy fuck," James squeaked as Sirius rolled them over, pining James's arms to his side.  
"That was for everything Remus had to endure while you were what? Chasing Lily's skirt no doubt. How would you feel James if that was your precious omega in there. Maybe next time I'll just forget to look out for darling Lily during her heat, see what happens then."  
Rage now shown in both boy's eyes.

"Fuck you," spit James struggling against Sirius's hold, but not having enough leverage to overturn them,"Fuck you for thinking I wasn't trying to look out for Remus. Fuck you for thinking I wanted this to happen. Maybe if you hadn't gotten detention Remus wouldn't have been hurt. Did you think of that? Maybe you should stop blaming other people for your mistakes Sirius. You're his alpha, where were you when he needed you!" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the sickly feeling of regret filled James.  
Sirius froze, eyes wide, betrayal written clean across his face before his features turned to stone. It was a look only a member of the Black family ever seemed to be able to pull off successfully.  
The alpha quickly scrambled off of James walking backwards until they were almost on two different sides of the hall. Both boys stared at eachother, the only noise being their heavy breathing.   
"Don't you think...don't you think for one second," Sirius whispered furiously,"that I don't blame myself entirely for this."

"...Sirius," James said, but was cut off.  
"I know that he got hurt because of me, I know it's my fault and sometimes I think that maybe if I just left him he'd finally be safe. But, i'm a selfish bastard and you know it, I can't leave him. I dread the day he finally figures out that he can do so much better then me. So...in the meantime... I kiss away his worries, and try to heal his scars. Right now you're preventing me from doing that, and I will do anything to get to him."  
James stood up in silence, wincing every couple seconds as he found a new bruise or two, and walked to Sirius.

"This is not your fault," James said, Sirius made to contradict him, but James didn't let him. James had messed up, he had taken things too far and he was going to make Sirius listen if it was the last thing he did.

"Ok, maybe the fact that you've killed my future children is your fault, but Remus getting hurt isn't. The reason I pulled you from that room was because I knew how worked up you'd be. I didn't want Remus feeding off your anger, and taking it the wrong way. He was saying...weird things in there Sirius. I figured I'd let you take it out on me, and then you'd go in. Remus is really worked up, I needed you to have a clear head."

Slowly, the betrayal on Sirius's face was replaced by understanding. The alpha realized James had the right idea. He was still angry, holy fuck he was livid, but he was able to think clearer, prioritize. Sirius had to be with Remus right now, he couldn't be distracted by thoughts of revenge.

"Thanks, and sorry... I guess," Sirius said, far too politely to be convincing.  
James sighed, and nodded, allowing his friend a moment of peace.  
And then he pounced on him.

"Oi, you bloody wanker get off me!" cried Sirius who all of a sudden had his arms full of James.  
"That's better," mumbled James into Sirius's cloak before pulling back.  
Sirius only rolled his eyes, but there was a lightness in his features that told James everything was ok.  
Both boys smiled at eachother.

"SIRIUS."

Sirius's face crumpled with horror. The doors leading into the hospital wing were solid wood. They made the room inside soundproof. Almost soundproof. Remus was screaming, screaming so loud Sirius wouldn't have been surprise if the entire school heard.  
Whatever had happened to his omega, had very nearly broke him.  
Remus was always in control of himself, he never let an emotion pass his face that he didn't want seen. He never once complained about the pain changing into a werewolf brought his body. He hated asking other people for help, and the only time Sirius had ever seen him cry was when Remus thought the marauders hated him for being a werewolf. Seeing that had shaken Sirius to his core, he had sworn he would never let Remus feel that fear or pain ever again.

Sirius whined high in his throat.

 "James..James," he said pleading with his friend to let him through the doors. James nodded with a stoic face.

"Take care of him," he whispered before stepping out of the way.

Sirius ran to the doors, ripping through them as if they were made of paper. A loud bang punctured the room as they made contact with the wall.  
Sirius quickly located Remus, and the sight made his heart break.  
Th omega had his arms wrapped around both legs while his face was buried in his knees. (Which alone worried Sirius because he could see one of Remus's legs was in a cast) The omega was dry heaving, his chest rising and falling at an alarming rate. At the side of his bed stood Madam Pomfrey who was trying to get Remus to show his face so she could give him a calming drought.

"Mr. Lupin please look at me, this potion will help you," she said sternly though it was clear she was worried.  
"...no..no," Remus said between gasps,"just need...Sirius." His Moony looked up at Madam Pomfrey for a mere second, but it was enough for Sirius.  
There were tears in his eyes, they hadn't fallen which meant Sirius still had time, but they were there. Sirius was slightly awed at their horrific beauty, he couldn't take his focus off of them no matter how he tried. No matter how the sight pained him.

"Remus," he called finally running down the isle to his omega's sick bed. Remus's head snapped up. Relief burned through every inch of his body.

Sirius was there...Sirius was finally there.

Sirius ran as fast as he possibly could, ignoring his protesting body, listening only to the instinct that insisted Remus was too far away. At the last second, before Sirius crashed into the bed, he fell to his knees. Immediately, the alpha was grabbing at every inch of Remus he could without hurting him.  
Seeing him up close was so much worse then far away. The omega's eye was black and blue, and his light brown hair was matted with dark, sticky blood.

"Sirius...Pads...Padfoot," Remus kept repeating a different form of his name every time he managed to take a breath. Sirius cupped the omega's cheek, and looked deep into his hazel eyes, trying not to show how thoroughly terrified he was.

"Look at me Remus," Sirius said, strong and confident. His tone of voice reassured Remus, who's mind had gone blank as soon as Sirius started talking. He was safe now, he would be taken care of, all he had to do was follow Sirius's orders and he would be ok again. 

"Remus," Sirius said sternly,"pay attention, love, focus on my voice, only on me ok?"

Remus nodded his head, and moved his body closer to Sirius's until their foreheads were touching.

"Take a deep breath in, love," Sirius murmured, nudging his nose against Remus's.  
The omega tried to breathe in at a steady pace, but couldn't relax enough. The alpha could see Remus was getting more and more frustrated as he failed to comply with Sirius's orders.

"I-I c-can't...Sirius.."  
"Shh, calm down Moony it's ok, I've got you. Just breathe, love. How about you do it with me, ok? Follow my breathing."  
Remus nodded trying to get himself under control. Sirius took a deep breath in, and Remus tried to copy it, but once again couldn't. There was too much going through his head.

"I-I'm sorry...Sirius-I'm sorry-" Remus pulled away anger and disappointment welling up inside him. He was a terrible omega.  
"No," Sirius growled, pulling Remus by the neck until their foreheads were once again touching.  
"You don't get to pull away from me Remus, got it?" He said. 

Remus nodded slightly, chancing a look into Sirius's eyes. They were dark and beautiful and full of love, Remus almost did a double take. But, his attention was pulled away when Sirius's hand came up and took hold of his own. The omega watched as his alpha brought their hands down and pressed it over his own heart, so Remus could feel his heartbeat.

"Feel that? It's beating just for you Remus, it always will be, please come back to me," Sirius said. Remus nodded, taking the deep breaths he needed to calm down. His head seemed to de-fogg, his panic seemed to melt away, and his mind relaxed until all that was left for Remus to focus on was Sirius and the steady thudding beneath his fingers.

"Never...never in all my years working here have I ever seen someone calm down so easily after a panic attack... especially without the help of medication," came the astounded voice of Madam Pomfrey. Both boys tensed up immediately at the sound of her voice. Sirius who was trying to hold back his over protective tendencies, and Remus who was clutching Sirius tighter afraid the nurse would send him away.  
Plucking up the courage, Sirius asked the question Remus was too afraid to.

"You're not going to...kick me out will you?"  
Madam Pomfrey sighed and crossed her arms over her apron,"I should, and don't get me wrong, there's a large part of me that wants to after the disturbance you caused before," Remus whinned burying his face into Sirius's neck, immediately the fight left the nurse,"but I'm not cruel. If you leave, Mr. Black, it would compromise Remus's health, so yes you can stay. But, I want you out before curfew, you hear?"  
Sirius nodded, a small smile of gratitude on his face.  
Madam Pomfrey humphed once more and turned to go to her office, closing the curtains around the bed as she left.  
Sirius turned to Remus,"She's gone, baby, will you look at me now?”

Sirius felt the puff of air Remus let out against his neck,"Don't call me baby," he murmured as he raised his head. The alpha smiled.  
"There he is," Sirius said quietly,"there's my Moony."  
Remus blushed and went to hide his face again, but Sirius wouldn't let him.  
"Oh no love, you're not hiding from me, I won't allow it," he said with a light chuckle and moved out of the vicinity of Remus's tentacle like arms.  
But, instead of the cute little pout Sirius expected from Remus, something else happened.  
Remus's eyes went wide with dread, and he started to swing his legs over the side of the bed to follow Sirius. Sirius, shocked at the behavior, rushed to the omega's side and picked him up not a second before his feet hit the ground.  
"D-don't leave...please," Remus whimpered, all but scaring the alpha to death. Something was wrong, and it wasn't going to be fixed by Sirius joking around. 

"Woah, hold on, love, I was only kidding. I'm right here I'm not going anywhere. You stay in bed, relax." Carefully, the alpha lowered Remus onto the mattress, climbing in to cuddle him right after.  
"Alright, here's what's going to happen," Sirius murmured soothingly.  
"I'm going to hold you, as tight as I possibly can so that you know you are safe. No one is going to touch a hair on your head. Then..." Sirius used the most calming, yet commanding tone he could,"you're going to tell me everything that happened."

Remus tensed in his arms,"N-no, it's not important-" 

 

Sirius growled low in his throat, the omega quieted,"It's goddamn important and you know it. I want to know everything Remus. What was said to you, what was done to you, and who did it to you. And you will tell me, because...because I care more then you'll ever know." He whispered the last part, half hoping Remus wouldn't hear him.

 

But, the omega said something that shattered Sirius's heart into little pieces.  
"You'll hate me if you know the truth."

Sirius swore his eyes turned red.

It had taken him years to earn Remus's fragile trust. Years and years of telling him he was beautiful, and worthwhile, and so, so loved. He had helped build up the omega's self esteem, and made promises (that he had every intention of keeping) that he would never leave. He had proved his loyalty through all their ups and downs, and Remus had proved his back. Remus had been healing, finally after years of hiding himself away and telling himself he wasn't good enough, he was healing. Yet, in the matter of a few hours some stupid teenagers had broke him down again. Sirius was going to kill them.  
But, before Sirius could reassure his Moony that he could never hate him.

Remus started his story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse I am sorry for what this is (keep in mind it was written over a year ago so)  
> All the love

"I wanted to get my Charms book.”

Remus said impassively, keeping his emotions in check. He had run himself ragged, and though he still felt every stab of emotion like a sharp needle, he didn’t want to show it. 

Don't let anyone know you're sad, don't let anyone know you're happy, don't let anyone know you're hurt...

But, fuck, it hurt. He was about to lose Sirius.

"I was trying to finish homework for Professor Flitwick, when I realized I had left my textbook in Potions."  
Sirius growled deep in his chest, making Remus tense.  
"Slytherins," he spat, coming to the conclusion Remus had hoped could be avoided.  
The omega nodded the affirmative, wishing that for once Sirius was as stupid as he pretended to be.

 

That's when Remus knew he couldn't do it.  
He couldn't pretend that what happened hadn't affected him...that losing Sirius wasn't affecting him.  
"I'm sorry," he forced himself to say, the deeper meaning flying right over Sirius's head.

"Don't be sorry, take your time. I'm just thinking of different ways to brutally maim and or torture one’s enemies," Sirius grumbled.  
Remus cracked a small, somewhat forced smile. His alpha held him impossibly tighter.  
"I figured if I wanted to get the essay done I needed the book, and I also needed James. But, James was sleeping on the couch, and I-I, didn't want to wake him?"  
That was a weak excuse even to Remus's ears. But, there was nothing he could say that would fool Sirius. He had wanted to be alone, to prove he was capable. Of what? 

‘Protecting yourself,’ he thought bitterly, because that panned out so well. He had messed up, and now he had to deal with the consequences.

"I know you Remus, I think sometimes you forget just how much," Sirius whispered softly,"I know that you are headstrong and can be stubborn as all hell when you want to be. You didn't bring James because you didn't want to and that's that. It's done, it happened, it's over, it's in the past. It just means that if you thought I was over protective before, you have no idea the monster you’ve unleashed. I'm not letting you out of my sight."  
Remus mouth fell open, shocked not sure how to feel. Yet, the knot in his stomach loosened a bit. He wanted to grasp onto the idea the Sirius would always be there, and never let go.  
A giddy smile broke across Remus’s face, and it wasn’t long before a mischievous twinkle lit in Sirius’s gaze.

"I will kill anyone who dares touch what's mine," the alpha growled low in Remus's ear causing a delightful shiver to run up the omega's spine. Remus purred as he looked up into Sirius's dark, onyx eyes wanting to get lost in them...but in the back of his mind, something, someone haunted him…

~~~~~~~~~~

"He'll torture you," Remus said,"you know it's the truth because I can't lie. Sirius will not hesitate to do everything but kill you, simply on principle."

Narcissa bent down so that they were face to face. Remus glared into her soulless eyes trying to convey as much hatred as possible.  
"That's exactly why he is weak. He could never do what would be needed to protect you. He could never kill us…

~~~~~~~~~~

"No," Remus found himself frantically insisting,"you can't do that, you can't say things like that. You would be playing right into her hands..."  
Remus eyes went wide, and he shut his mouth quick, mentally cursing himself. 

Sirius's eyes narrowed, his body tensed, Remus could already see his mind working a mile a minute. He had just helped narrow the pool of suspects down considerably for Sirius. And Sirius planned to take full advantage.  
Immediately, the alpha pounced on the little information he had gotten, trying to get as many details as possible.  
"Who did this Remus, who is she?" Sirius demanded.

Remus froze in the alpha’s arms. If he told Sirius who it was, he would want to find them. Remus didn't want the alpha to leave. Remus wanted to be able to hold onto Sirius until the last second.

"Remus, please I know you do-"  
"Sirius..."  
"-But, whoever they are-"  
"Sirius, please..."  
"-punch them in the-"  
"Sirius, stop."

Sirius voice halted mid sentence.  
He seemed to finally take notice of how uncomfortable Remus was. Sirius bit his lip, he hadn't meant to worry Remus. All he wanted to do was help, all he felt was helpless.

"Sorry," Sirius said snuggling into Remus, trying to get him to relax,"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault, I just want to protect you." Remus melted back into his arms, his way of saying it was ok.  
For a while, neither boy said anything as they sat in comfortable silence. Sirius, knowing he had pushed too far, doubted Remus would continue.  
But, Remus wasn't a Gryffindor for nothing. Just as Sirius was giving up hope Remus would talk, the omega cleared his throat.

"I walked down to the Potions classroom, and was about to open the door when I heard voices. They were talking about you...and me. How they were going to hurt me to get to you," it didn't escape Sirius's notice that Remus's voice seemed to get meeker and meeker as he continued his story, but didn't say anything.  
"I turned to get away, but fell..."

"Because your bodies like jello right now," Sirius muttered. Sirius hated that particular pre-heat symptom, enfeeblement. He was always so worried that Remus's legs would give out on him.

"Yeah," Remus said, waiting for the moment Sirius would realize he wasn't worth the effort,"they came out of the room when they heard the crash in the hall. There were four of them, students. They dragged me back to the potions room. I wasn't able to put up much of a physical fight, but I let my mouth run a bit, earning me the stinging jinx."

Sirius didn't know whether to be furious, or, just maybe, a bit proud. That was his Moony showing those stupid Slytherins who was boss.

 

"Honestly Moony," Sirius said kissing the top of his head,"the one time you take a page out of James's and my book and it lands you in the infirmary," and then he added to make sure Remus knew he wasn't too mad,"I'm proud."  
Remus snorted, showing signs of his usual self, making Sirius grin.  
But, just like before, the smile melted off his omega's face much too easily.  
"You won't be saying that when I'm finished," Remus whispered before moving on.

"They kicked at the back of my knees until I fell to the floor, that got me the fractured knee. Then, they forced me to open my mouth..."  
"WHAT!" Sirius roared,"Remus tell me the truth, did they.."  
"No," Remus quickly cut in before the situation could escalate,"nothing like that happened."  
Sirius relaxed a tiny bit and Remus figured it was safe to continue.  
"Thy forced me to open my mouth, and swallow...Veritaserum."

Sirius clenched his eyes shut, starting to understand why Remus was so scared. He could have been forced to reveal his deepest secret, without any hope of stopping himself. Sirius decided it was the one of the most disgusting things one person could do to another. 

"I'm sorry," Sirius's voice cracked, realizing the severity of the situation,"I'm so sorry."  
Remus looked up into Sirius's face, surprised to find tears staining his cheeks. He wanted to wipe them away, hating that he was causing his Padfoot so much pain. Knowing it would only get worse.  
Maybe it was cruel, but Remus waited until Sirius had composed himself once more to continue telling the story. He couldn't help but want to drag it out as far as possible.  
The alpha cleared his throat,"Ok love, tell me the rest."  
Remus nodded, already preparing himself for the outburst.  
"The gave me the Veritaserum, at first they wanted to know things about you. Things that would hurt you. I-I didn't give them anything. I distracted them. I couldn't...wouldn't betray you like that."

"Moony," Sirius whispered, awed at the sheer love and loyalty Remus held for him.  
But, then he said something that surprised the omega.  
"I wish you had," Sirius said.  
Remus's eyes went wide, sure he had misheard the other boy. “...What?"  
Sirius chuckled, and nuzzled his face into Remus's hair.  
"I wish you had told them something about me. That way they would have let you go. You just had to go and be honorable, and loyal, and bloody brilliant, didn't you. Even if you got yourself beat up in the process. I should be pissed at you, I should be so mad I can't speak, but I'm just so proud and fucking relieved. I don't know what I would do without you Moony, I love you. I love you to the Moon and back, get it because your name is Moony-"

"STOP," Remus cried, not able to bear to hear the praise coming from his alpha.  
"But, Remus-"

"No, Sirius Black you stop right now. I am a-a liar a-and a coward," tears started to bubble over onto Remus's freckles cheeks,"they decided that the only way to hurt you was to ask personal questions about me. They asked me if I sometimes thought I wasn't worthy of you. Sirius I said yes. They asked if I sometimes thought you were only using me for sex, I said yes. They asked-"

 

"Remus-" but Remus couldn't stop. He couldn't stop his tears, he couldn't stop his words, he had no control. It was like the Veritaserum was still in him.

 

"-if I believed you loved me, I said...I said I don't know."  
Remus was sobbing into Sirius's shirt clinging onto him for dear life. Waiting for the moment when Sirius separated the two of them forever. Waiting for moment Sirius realized how pathetic Remus was.  
"Remus, enough," Sirius ordered, trying to calm down his omega. But, Remus wasn't listening, he was stuck in his own reality. A reality where he was sure Sirius was going to leave him. If only he knew that was that last thing Sirius ever planned on doing.  
"Please d-don't hate me," Remus whispered.  
That was the last straw.

Fury burned strong in Sirius, he was angry in a way he had never felt before. These people had made Remus cry. No one fucked with his Moony, no one. They had made a grave mistake the day they decided to mess with a marauder, and Sirius wouldn't stop until they knew it.  
"Remus J. Lupin," he growled, Remus's cries quieted.  
"Look at me now." Remus raised his head, terror written in every fiber on his face, this was it.  
"I could never hate you, even if I tried."

 

"..."

 

"I love you, more then you will ever know. You are my world. You are my whole fucking universe. I love you, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that you love me."  
"But-but-"  
"No, Remus you listen to me right now. I love you, and you love me and that is all I care about. Sometimes, do you doubt my intentions, yes. Sometimes, do you think I'm not serious about our relationship, yes. Sometimes, do you doubt.." Sirius had to gather his nerve to say this part,"sometimes do you doubt that I love you? Yes. We already know that. All it means is that i'm going to tell you every day and night that I love you. Until the moment it sticks and then some."  
Remus sat with his mouth hanging open in shock, not quite able to process what he was being told.  
No, this wasn't supposed to happen, Sirius was supposed to hate him..right? Sirius was going to leave him...right? He had messed up the best thing in his life...right?

In a single moment everything came crashing down, but not in the way Remus expected.  
He didn't understand how Sirius didn't hate him. He deserved Sirius's anger because he had fucked up, plain and simple. But, there sat the alpha with a look of pure adoration on his face, telling Remus he loved him? No...everything was wrong. 

"I-I need my collar," Remus whispered.

The collar started out as a joke. A joke between a wolf and a dog. Seeing as they were both so canine why not wear collars for eachother. Collars, like an animal...it was supposed to be funny. All four of the marauder's had a right laugh over it.  
Well one day Remus found a package on his bed. After making sure it wasn't going to blow up, he had opened it only to find leather collar with the initials S.B. on them.  
Remus had dropped to the ground, causing an invisible Sirius to panic just a little...more like a lot.  
Sirius had thrown off the invisibility cloak and knelt down besides a shocked Remus. He had immediately started apologizing, claiming it was joke and that it wasn't important.  
But, to Remus it was so incredibly, important.  
There sat an object that showed Remus just how much Sirius wanted him. It showed him just how much Sirius wanted to hold onto and love him.  
Ever since that day when Remus got overwhelmed and he couldn't take the stress, he asked for the collar that was hidden under his mattress.  
It reminded him that he was loved, that he would always have somebody there for him. It meant the world to him.

"Oh, Remus..." Sirius murmured, pulling the omega tighter against him,"the only way to get it is if I leave-"  
"No," Remus said.  
"Good, ’cause I'm not leaving you."  
"What if you get James to do it?"  
"Do you really want James to see it?" Sirius asked, not liking the idea at all.

"...No.  
But, Sirius I need it. I don't know how to feel and everything's a mess, and you. Don't. Hate. Me." Remus insisted pulling at his hair.  
Sirius whined high in his throat, grabbing Remus's hands before they ripped open any wounds.  
Sirius knew he had to do something, anything really, he just didn't know what. Until, a seemingly brilliant idea popped into his head.

 

"What if...what if I place my hand on your neck. Exactly like the collar," Sirius whispered to Remus. For a moment the omega didn't say anything, causing Sirius to panic thinking he had overstepped some invisible line. But, Remus merely furrowed his brow, and slowly relaxed into Sirius's grip.

He nodded tentatively,"Ok."  
Sirius breathed out a shaky laugh, happy he could finally do something for Remus.  
Slowly, he slid his hand up Remus's arm to his shoulder. Waiting a moment in case Remus told him to stop. When he didn't, Sirius's hand slid across the omega’s shoulder where it rested on Remus’s neck. 

Remus shivered.

"That's good," the omega said, the touch grounding him.  
"You like it? It's a good substitute for the collar, for when you can't wear it?"  
"Yeah," Remus said, his eyes slipping closed as he pushed up into the touch. Sirius let out a content growl at how beautiful Remus looked. Begging to have the alpha’s hand wrapped around his neck like a brand.  
Sirius kissed the omega's temple,"You are mine, and I am yours, completely. I love you."  
"I love you too."

"...Remus, do you know I love you?"  
"Yes...but what if i’m lying?”   
Sirius chuckled, “Veritaserum doesn't fully wear off for twelve hours."

~~~~~~~~~

The next couple days went as Remus expected.  
His pre-heat symptoms became more and more prominent, causing Sirius to become more and more protective. That was to be expected.  
But, now on top of his bodies increasing uselessness, he was...scared. Remus seemed to jump at the slightest of sounds, and nearly hexed James balls off when he accidentally startled him. He was a mess, and his friends knew it. They were worried about him, Sirius was worried about him. Sirius truly never left Remus's side anymore, and made sure that if he couldn't escort Remus somewhere, the other marauders could. On top of everything, Remus had taken to wearing his collar all throughout the day under a strong invisibility charm. It helped his anxiety in classes when Sirius wasn't there. Sirius almost wished Remus wouldn't put the charm on it everyday. He wanted people to know just who would be out for blood the moment they decided to mess with his Moony.

In fact, all the marauder's were out for blood. Remus's three friend would form a protective circle around him whenever they were in the hallways. They had assigned themselves the job of private bodyguards. They glared at anyone who came to close to the omega, and snarled at all Slytherins in general. Remus had let slip that his tormentors were were from the enemy house, but still refused to tell his friends the exact people who hurt him. What that meant was some first years were scarred for life.

Remus appreciated and loved all that his friends were doing for him, really. He even felt guilty for not telling them who the culprits were. But, did they honestly expect him to? His friends made a point to pick fights with just about every Slytherin they passed in the halls.  
Remus didn't want them fighting, especially not for him. Remus wanted his friends to be safe, he didn't want them risking expulsion over something stupid.

That was before the note.

~~~~~~~~~~

Remus was sitting in his astronomy class, trying not to fall asleep.  
It wasn't that the class was boring (normally he found it quite intuitive) but his heat was only a day away and he was on sensory overload.  
He could barely stand the scratch of fabric against his skin and his head pounded every time he walked down the halls. On top of that, his body was starting to produce small amounts of slick every couple hours. Forcing him to use special heat pads which were uncomfortable and made him feel like he was wearing a diaper. Needless to say he had been irritable.  
Remus could tell that James and Peter tiptoed around him whenever they spoke, afraid to set him off. As if waiting for him to explode. On one hand it annoyed him to no end, on the other he felt guilty.

The only person that could calm him down when he got into a mood was Sirius, to no one's surprise. Sirius, who made good on his promise, was even more protective of Remus then before. If it wasn't Remus's fowl mood that was keeping people away, it was Sirius who growled possessively every time the omega picked up a pencil. 

 

This morning Sirius had tried to force Remus to miss classes. It was a Friday, which meant Remus and Sirius only had one class together, astronomy not being one of them. Sirius didn't like the idea of Remus having to suffer through anything alone but, at the time, Remus had been feeling slightly more himself and snuck out to class while Sirius had gone to the bathroom. Something he knew he would get shit for later.  
Something that was giving him shit now.

Whenever he was in class with his friends, they did their best to distract him from heat symptoms or moon symptoms. They tried their hardest to make him laugh, and it worked every time. But, he was alone for another ten minutes before being set free. 

Although he knew this was the last class of the day, it seemed like it would go on forever. The best he could do was nap, and hope time went by fast.  
But, just as Remus was about to fall asleep, he felt something hit the back of his head. He jerked out of his seat, a growl in his throat, earning him some strange looks. He ignored them, ready to lash out at whoever had woken him. But, no one seemed to be paying him attention, and none of his friends were in the class. He growled softly one last time before moving to put his head back on the desk when he noticed it. Sitting on his desk was a wadded up piece of paper.  
Now more confused than before, Remus picked up the parchment and unfolded it. He half expected it to be from one of the marauder's hiding under the invisibility cloak, or maybe someone just had really bad aim and the note wasn't meant for him at all.  
Nonetheless, he opened the paper, and he felt every muscle in his aching body freeze.

Remus,

We aren't finished.  
Sincerely,  
R.A.B.

With shaking hands, Remus looked behind him, and their hidden in the back corner sat Regulus Black.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of these days im actully going to figure out wether or not to capatilize the word “alpha” or not...today is not that day  
> Thank u to everyone who reads this all the love

Remus turned back around to face the front of the classroom. He tried to portray some semblance of calm, but his hands were shaking with newfound panic. He hated how helpless he felt in that moment, but there was nothing he could do for it. How did Regulus even sneak into the class?

Remus glanced at the clock, five minutes left.  
The omega had half a mind to say hell with it, and bolt from the classroom. But, the possibility that Narcissa, Lucius, or Snape might be waiting to ambush him outside kept him in his seat. Remus had learned his lesson from before, this time he had to be smarter. 

The omega would have to slip out at the end of class and lose himself among the hordes of students trying to get back to their dormitories. From there, he would find James or Sirius. Remus had wanted to protect his friends from getting in trouble, but he couldn't handle this alone. The omega was strong, he knew this, everyone knew this. He was more than just his secondary gender, Remus was a warrior. But, he couldn't be expected to be invincible...right?  
Doubt crept into Remus's thoughts, but he pushed them away. Now was not the time to dwell on his shortcomings.  
The omega’s eyes once again found the time, thirty more seconds...

Twenty seconds....

Ten...nine...eight....

Three...two...

Class was over. Remus sprung to his feet. The omega snatched his bag and lifted it onto his shoulder before rushing to the door. He explicitly ignored Regulus's smirk on the way out, knowing that for now the boy wasn't a threat.  
Remus frantically pushed past his classmates, earning him a few dirty looks and snide comments. But, all he cared about was getting away from them all. Each brush of a shoulder made him curl in on himself, every sharp word made him flinch. It felt like wherever Remus went people were watching him, judging him. It made his skin crawl. The fact that he could feel more and more slick at his entrance didn't help.  
But, what worried him the most was that neither Sirius, James or Peter were anywhere to be found.

"Excuse me," he tried saying as the hall became more crowded, it felt like the walls were closing in on him.

"Sirius?" He tried calling out, though his voice was meek. Remus was afraid to draw too much attention to himself in case one of the Slytherins were lurking.  
"Peter? James?...Sirius?"  
He realized, with a start, that he had stopped in the middle of the hall. Groups of people kept muttering angrily as they had to move around him to get where they had to go. Remus's hands shook. His heart was beating a mile a minute, and the hall was getting smaller, and where was Sirius, and he didn't want to be alone, and...  
And Remus shouted as he felt two arms wrap around him from behind.  
"Let go..let go of me," he said struggling to get out of the unwelcome hold.  
"Remus...Remus...REMUS."

Remus froze in the strangers arms before eagerly spinning around. His body went weak with relief and he buried himself into the safe embrace.  
"James," he sighed.

"Hey, hey what's wrong? Remus you're scaring me?" James said, though he hugged his friend back just as tightly.  
Remus pulled away, cringing as he realized just who, exactly, he had tried to attack.

"Nothing's wrong....well something's wrong, but we need to find Sirius first." Remus said already scanning the crowd for his Alpha.  
"Wait, Remus what's going on?" James insisted, but didn't get an answer as Remus took hold of his wrist and dragged him through the corridor.  
Now that Remus had a clearer head, he was worried about Sirius. They should have found him by now. What if the Slytherins had Sirius? What if they hurt him? The resolution to find his alpha burned strong in him.

"Sirius?" He called out, ignoring James protests from behind him,"Sirius?" He said, getting louder.  
"Siriu-"  
But, Remus was interrupted.

"Remus Lupin!" Sirius shouted from the other end of the stairway, pissed. There was a familiar tug in his gut that made Remus think he had been in this position before.  
"How dare you leave me like th-"  
But, Sirius's tangent was cut short when the omega flung himself into the alpha’s arms. The anger that had been fueling Sirius all day due to Remus's absence, completely vanished.  
He pulled his Moony in close, and buried his face into the omega's hair as Remus clung to him like his life depended on it.

"What's wrong, love?" Sirius automatically whispered, anxious,"Remus what's happened?"  
But, Remus simply held Sirius tighter, too relieved to speak. That scared the alpha more than he cared to admit. Remus was acting like he had in the infirmary.  
A day Sirius deemed one of the worst in his life.

The alpha tensed when the sound of footsteps started coming their way, stopping only when they were right next to the pair.  
Sirius's head snapped up, prepared to growl at the intruder, but calmed slightly when he saw a confused James and Peter.

‘What happened,’ Sirius mouthed to his best friends, but, they couldn’t provide an answer seeing as they were just as confused as the alpha was. Abruptly, Remus pulled out of Sirius's arms, and turned to address the group.

"We need to get to the common room, right now. Then…” Remus took a deep breath as if to build his courage, “Then I'll explain everything. Something happened, but we can't talk about it here. They might be listening.” The omega’s eyes shifted from side to side, scanning his surroundings. There was no point, anymore, in hiding his paranoia. Not that it didn’t hurt to see is friends so obviously worried for him.

"Remus, calm down love," Sirius said, concerned. He grabbed the omega by the chin and kissed him softly before pressing their foreheads together. The tension seeped out of the werewolf as quickly as it had come. Sirius was a drug Remus never planned on quitting.  
But, too quickly, the omega let out another distressed whine.

Sirius hated it. He hated that something was wrong and all he could do was stand around and be...useless.  
"What's going on," Sirius asked once more.  
Remus looked deep into the alpha’s eyes, and removed himself from Sirius's hold as if it physically pained him to do so.  
"I'll explain, but only once we reach the common room," Remus insisted, he had a stubbornness that rivaled Sirius’s own.

"Ok," the alpha relented,"ok."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sirius didn't know what to do.  
Remus was being distant, and even though he had promised, he wasn’t giving his friends any answers to their questions. Though the three marauders might have been a factor in the issue.

As soon as the boys had reached their dormitory, they had bombarded Remus with questions.  
The omega had simply stood, silently, gaping like a fish out of water. Then, without without a single word, started pacing back and forth while vigorously ringing his hands. The group had been shocked. Remus always kept a cool head in stressful situations. He knew how to handle his friends at their craziest, but still, something had become too much for him.

Sirius could practically taste the sour scent of worry emanating off his friends. But, none of them understood the violent terror that was racing through his body seeing Remus like this.

"Remus," James said tentatively, trying to get the omega's attention,"please tell us what's going on, you're freaking us out babe." But, Remus didn't stop pacing, it was like he was in some sort of trance and couldn't hear James at all.

"REMUS," yelled Peter waving his hand in front of Remus's face, causing Sirius to growl loudly. Peter scurried away from the omega, not wanting to get on Sirius's bad side. Once he was a safe distance away, aka behind James, he said,"It's like he can't even hear us. Maybe we should take him to Madam Pomfrey."

Sirius growled again, making Peter take another step back. He didn’t mean to scare his friend, but whenever the beta opened his mouth, Sirius wanted to punch him. Remus couldn’t go to the hospital wing, Sirius didn't want Remus to need to go to the hospital wing. If he did it meant the alpha failed him...again. It meant there were some parts of Remus that Sirius couldn't help. And Sirius hated that.

"We are not taking him to the infirmary," the alpha growled, hands clenched, trying to resist the urge to maul his friend. Sensing the growing tension, James stepped in.

"I know you don't want to Sirius, trust me. I understand what you're feeling right now." Sirius turned sharply to look at James, "Don't condescend me, don't pretend you know how I'm feeling. You don't." He snapped.  
Hurt flashed in James eyes, Sirius pretended it didn't affect him. 

"You think I don't know how you're feeling?" James voice went cold, "Let me take a shot. You feel helpless. You're supposed to be there for him no matter what, you're his mate. He trusts you to take care of him which we all know he doesn't take lightly, nor do you. You think you would be failing him by asking for help. You think he would think you were a failure for asking for help...am I wrong?"  
Sirius was trembling, feeling bare for the world to see. If it had been anyone else, Sirius would have given them a lashing they wouldn't soon forget. If it was anyone else, he would have made them beg for mercy. But, this was James. James who just wanted to protect everyone. James who was only trying to make Sirius see how stupid he was being. 

"Ok..." Sirius said breaking the tense silence, "ok, we'll take him to the infirmary, but let me try first; let me talk to him. It just feels wrong to bring him there like this, when he's so out of control." James looked skeptic, but nodded, compromising with his friend. Sirius nodded his thanks and stepped up to Remus. The omega's mouth was set in a hard line. His eyes were moving back and forth, as if he were seeing something the rest of them couldn't. 

"Remus..." Sirius said, quietly, so as not to startle his mate,"come back to me." He waited a moment, hoping Remus would snap out of it, but got nothing. The omega was still pacing back and forth, stuck in his own head.

"Remus," Sirius insisted, louder this time. But, once again, Remus was oblivious to the people around him. Out of the corner of his eyes, Sirius saw James shake his head in despair. Peter had his eyes cast low, giving the floor a dejected look.  
For a moment, Sirius felt it too. He felt the hopelessness threaten to take him over. He felt it so fiercely he thought he would choke on it. That it would swallow him whole. But, Sirius couldn't let that happen, he refused to. He had to help Remus first, he wouldn't give up on him no matter what. He'd keep trying until his omega came back to him.

"Remus,'' Sirius said, this time stronger. The one word commanded everyone in the room to pay attention to him,"come back."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Remus stopped pacing, he looked around blinking a few times. It was as if he was seeing them all for the first time. He spotted Peter and James first and a small smile tugged on his lips. Then...Sirius.  
A lump formed in Remus's throat as he took a step closer to his mate. It was as if he was looking at a different person. Remus wanted to be sick. How much pain and worry had he put Sirius through this past week? The bags under his grey eyes were darker then Remus's own, and his porcelain skin looked sickly pale. Remus was almost afraid to touch him, in case he started to crack under his fingertips.

"I'm sorry," Remus blurted out. The words meaning so much more than he could express,"I'm sorry I'm acting weird. I'm sorry if I'm freaking you out, and I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this earlier. I just wanted it to go away, to be forgotten. But, it's not going away, they aren't going away."

The situation clicked into place. The feeble looking boy who had once stood in Sirius's place vanished as if he had never been there. Instead stood a wild, untamed alpha that would do anything to protect those he loved. "What have those bastards done, Remus," he growled, fire burning in his eyes.

"That's what I didn't want happening", Remus said, seeing the impulsive anger written across his alpha's face, across all his friend's faces. He started backing a little ways from all of them,"I don't want you getting in trouble because I'm pathetic and can't fight my own battles. I don't want to be seen as the stereotypical omega who can't even wipe their own ass without an alpha present. I am not weak."  
But, he was weak. He could barely protect himself, nevermind his friends. The feeling of helplessness he had been trying to suppress, engulfed him.

Sirius snorted. They all turned to him, confused, as he started to chuckle,"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth."

Remus retreated another step, feeling as if the floor had given out on him. He couldn't find the words to defend himself in his shocked state, though it didn't really matter. Sirius kept talking. 

"You are not weak. Anyone who's been on the opposing end of your wand knows that, and I'd know I've been there many times. You’re so strong. The strongest person I know and anyone who has ever met you will agree with me. Asking for help doesn't make you weak, fighting single-handedly doesn't make you strong. The people who hurt you seem to think you're alone, I just want to show them how wrong they are."  
Remus stared wide eyed at him. As if he never considered there were people out there who he could trust to have his back when things were hard. Like when the full moon came around... like right now. 

"Tell us what's going on, Remus," James added, a pleading note to his voice, though it turned dark quickly,"no one messes with a marauder and gets away with it." Peter came out from where he was cowering behind James and nodded his head.

"What happened," Sirius insisted.

Remus looked to each of his friends, realizing just how lucky he was.

"I thought it was over. I thought they would leave me alone. But, today in my last class.."

Remus squeezed his hands; a nervous twitch he had always had.

"I had my head down, I wasn't feeling good," Sirius gave him a pointed look but he ignored it, "something hit the top of my head and when I looked down there was a note in front of me. It said...it said they weren't finished. When I looked around...he was there. I don't even know how he got into the room, but he was looking at me like it was only a matter of time before they'd find me again."

His friends were hanging onto his every word, the room was filled with tension, anger was radiating off of all of them. Most of all Sirius. In a fit of rage Sirius flung his wand out, "Reducto." His dresser disintegrated. They all stood in shock. With all the jokes and slacking off, Remus sometimes forgot just how powerful Sirius was.  
James reached out a hand to calm him, but Sirius shrugged him off. Remus absolutely could not have that.

The omega gently walked to the alpha until he was just behind him. With a wave of his own wand the dresser repaired itself. Slowly, to make sure Sirius didn't startle, Remus placed his hand on the alpha’s shoulder. As if his touch was a sedative, the tension seeped out of Sirius in a heartbeat. With a relieved breath Remus rest his head on Sirius's shoulder, and kissed the outer shell of his ear.

"This is my fault," Sirius said, gently laying his hand on Remus's cheek to give him a proper kiss, "I'm so sorry Remus, it's my fault."

James and Peter looked confused, they knew what had happened to Remus, but the omega hadn't felt brave enough to go into full detail. Only Sirius knew the whole story.

"No, don't you dare blame yourself for this. This isn't your fault and you know it," Remus said, trying to convince Sirius just how wrong he was. But, he saw the misplaced guilt in his alpha’s eyes. He knew once Sirius got an idea like this in his head there was no going back.

"Don't lie to me Remus," Sirius snarled, Remus flinched as if he had been physically slapped. Guilt gripped Sirius in its tight hold, and he pulled Remus into hug.  
"I'm sorry. But, we both know the truth."  
"No," came Remus's muffled voice from Sirius's shoulder. Sirius held on tighter knowing all too well the omega was too good for him. 

"Um...guys, I get you're having a moment, but why is this Sirius's fault?" Questioned Peter bluntly, earning him a smack to the back of the head from James. Remus growled a little at the accusation thrown his alphas way, noting Sirius didn't try to contradict him.

"The only reason Remus got hurt was because somebody was trying to get to me. They were trying to hurt me by hurting him."

"That's a fucking lie and you-" But Sirius interrupted Remus.

"Tell me that's not what they said Remus. Tell me they didn't force feed you Veritaserum to get you to talk about me. Tell me they didn't beat you because they knew it would rip me apart inside. Tell me you weren't used or violated....and frankly I won't believe you. I saw what they did to you." 

Tears shown in Remus's eyes, there was nothing he could do to stop Sirius from thinking this. Sirius nuzzled the omega's neck with his head, silently apologizing for hurting him, knowing it would only get worse,"Tell me the names of the people who went after you," Sirius murmured.

"No," Remus whispered back, biting his lip to keep it from wobbling. Sirius lifted his head to stare into his omega's hazel eyes, seeing the fear written all over his face. "Remus tell me who did this to you," he said a little sharper, they both knew he was taking advantage of Remus's current need to follow orders. Sirius added it to his growing pile of guilt. But, Remus only nodded his head, refusing, no matter how it pained him not to answer. 

"Remus, please tell us," insisted James, Remus tore his gaze away from Sirius's to look at his friends.

"Can't we just get a teacher to handle this? Don't get yourselves in trouble because of me."

"You know we can't do that Remus," said James with a slight growl,"we take care of our own, and we do it our way. That's the only way this will stop and you know it." Remus knew it was true, he just wished it wasn't.  
"Remus...tell us," Sirius said one last time. Remus looked back to his alpha, and prayed he didn't come to regret the decision he was about to make.

"...ok."

His friends eagerly looked at him, like they were readying themselves for a battle. Remus shivered at the thought.

"Narcissa," eyes hardened,"Malfoy," jaws clenched,"Snape," growls sounded,"and..." This would break him, was all Remus could think,"Regulus." Remus watched as his alpha went still. There was a flash of pain in his eyes before it was replaced by fury, calm, deadly fury.

"I'll kill him," Sirius said grabbing his wand from where it lay discarded on his bed. He wielded it with a deadly grace.

"Sirius...no," said Remus, but his pleas fell on deaf ears.

"He'll regret the day he ever lay a finger on you," Sirius said already striding to the door.

"I'll go with you," James said immediately, grabbing Sirius's arm to stop him from leaving. He was angry too, he wanted revenge too. This was his family Regulus was messing with, no one got away with that, but Sirius refused.

"This is between me and him," In that moment there was a look of understanding that passed between the two friends, James let go of Sirius's arm.

"You're letting him go?" Remus said, outraged,"we both know I have no chance of stopping him, but James...he's about to go confront his brother-"

"He is not my brother," Sirius said in a voice that would strike fear in any opponent, Remus just looked at him sadly,"brothers look out for each other, brothers protect each other, brothers love each other," Sirius glanced at James meaningfully, then back to Remus.

"Regulus is not my brother." Then, before Remus could stop him, Sirius threw open the door and stormed out of the room. Gone to wage battle on the Slytherin dorms.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie this gets kind of dark but everything is explained in the next chapter  
> All the love

Sirius stood, silent, alone. He was face to face with the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

The alpha was scared, but not for himself or what he was about to do.  
No, Sirius was scared for James, Peter, and most of all Remus. He was also scared for one more person. A person he wished he could cut out of his life like he had the rest of his family. 

There was a time when Regulus had been the only person Sirius loved, the only person he cared about. There was a time when they had been in the fight against their family together. But, nothing had been the same after Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor and a year later Regulus into Slytherin.  
Sirius’s first year at Hogwarts had been a detox from his family. The young alpha had learned just how poisonous and abusive his family truly was. Regulus hadn’t been as lucky. Being sorted into Slytherin meant Regulus had fallen further and further into the lies and hatred their family believed, and spread. 

During summer breaks Sirius would try to show Regulus the utter wrongness of their parents way of life. At first, his brother simply told Sirius to bugger off. Of course, that meant Sirius kept coming back to try to spread, at least, an inkling of doubt in Regulus’s head. For a while, Sirius had thought it was working. There were times when Regulus would actually sit and listen to him before calling him names and walking away.

That was before Regulus went to their mother.  
The little bastard told Walburga Black everything Sirius had said. Her eldest son’s political point of view didn’t necessarily surprise the women, but it was the first time she had heard about who, exactly, Sirius was courting. 

That's when any remaining love Sirius felt for his brother vanished. 

Sirius's mother beat him to the point of unconsciousness. She even used the Cruciatus Curse on him which she only ever brought out when she was especially angry. Still, that had not been Sirius’s undoing. He had become stronger than his mother’s control over him.

No, what finally pushed Sirius into leaving his family and finally turning his heart cold against them, was his mother threatening Remus. His brother in some small act of mercy, hadn't told their mother Remus's name thank Merlin, but he had told her enough. Walburga went raving throughout the house threatening to find this half blood her son was in love with and kill him herself. Sirius wouldn't stand for it.

He had sent a stunning spell her way, the first time he had ever raised a hand to his mother, grabbed what personal items he could and ran out of the house. A part of him had ached to go to Remus's house. He had to see his omega. He had to make sure Remus was safe, and that none of his family had gotten to him. But, Sirius had been afraid of someone following him or putting a tracking spell on him, so he went to one of the other two people he trusted most in the world. James. James’s family was pure blood, Walburga would never risk touching them...

 

That’s what brought Sirius to the Slytherin common room, at midnight, on a Friday evening. Distantly, he realized he had been standing outside the dorm room for over five minutes, and was probably worrying Remus half to death.  
Sirius was no idiot. He knew for a fact Remus, Peter, and James were all crowded around the Marauders Map, watching him like a hawk. For a moment he wished he had grabbed the map, and James's invisibility cloak. Knowing that Remus was watching him, waiting for him to confront the Slytherins, alone nonetheless, must be torture.  
Sirius huffed out a humorless laugh. He was the definition of a hypocrite. Hadn't he just finished telling Remus fighting alone didn’t make you strong? Hadn’t he just made it a point that the four of them would fight against the Slytherins together? 

Somehow, he couldn't find it in himself to care. 

He had to do this alone. It was between him and Regulus, no on else. Which is why Sirius longed for the invisibility cloak. It would be safer if Regulus never knew he had been there at all.  
Sirius knew that his brother would retaliate for what happened tonight. Regulus wouldn’t back down if Sirius didn’t scare him good and proper. The alpha knew if Regulus retaliated, the marauders would get the brunt of it.  
A growl burned in the back of Sirius's throat, he wouldn't let that happen. He'd terrify Regulus so thoroughly he'd run home to mommy, and never bother Remus again. Sirius would scare Regulus so terribly, no longer would Walburga’s face haunt him in the night, but Sirius’s own.

With a mental apology to Remus, the alpha muttered the Slytherin password (the marauders knew the passwords for the next three months) and stepped into the dungeon.  
Sirius had only been in the Slytherin common room once before with James in second year. The two had decided the room needed some redecorating and charmed the walls and all the furniture bright pink. To the Gryffindors chagrin none of the teachers seemed to be able to lift the magic, and the spell didn’t wear off for two months.

Looking at the dungeon now, Sirius could say nothing had changed, save for the color. A disgustingly aristocratic shade of green added a splash of arrogance throughout the entire room, and snakes were depicted on every wall, painting, and piece of furniture. But, most importantly it was empty. Sirius wanted to be seen by as few students as possible. Only four people would ever know he had been there that night, and they'd never speak a word of what happened to anyone.

Knowing his time wasn't limitless, Sirius started stripping. He quickly hid his clothing and wand where he hoped it would be safe, and started transforming. His bones popped and creaked as they changed to those of a dog’s form. He felt himself fall to the floor on all fours, paws instead of hands supporting his body. It wasn't Sirius who'd be causing trouble tonight, oh no, it was Padfoot's turn to play.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Padfoot slinked down the staircase as quiet as he could with razor sharp claws clicking loudly against the stone steps. He was slightly out of breath, but ever so smug at what he had done.  
Sirius had caused proper destruction.

Padfoot had snuck into three out of the four culprits dorm rooms, and destroyed everything. He had ripped apart textbooks with his fangs, destroyed wardrobes and furniture, and clawed at the walls making sure to leave his mark. He left nothing the way it had been. Padfoot had been in a frenzy, it was as if for those few minutes in each room he truly was a feral dog destroying everything in his path. Sirius had few morals, and there were even less things he wouldn't do if it was presented right. But, there was one offense Sirius wouldn't stand for. No one touched Remus.

Sirius bounded over to the part of the common room where he had hidden his clothes, adrenaline coursing through him. He pulled his stashed supplies out from under a bookcase and willed his body to transform back into a human. Once he felt all his bones grind back into place, he hastily put his clothes on, and grabbed his wand. He had one more room he had to go to tonight. But, this one, this one would be different. Sirius needed to do this in person.

"Did you forget me or something?" Came a cocky, self assured voice from behind Sirius.  
The alpha froze for only a moment before spinning around, radiating an arrogance of his own. His posture was stiff, his face blank of emotion. Even with Regulus half a room away Sirius looked down at his brother. The alpha couldn’t deny he found satisfaction in the way Regulus tried not to twitch under his unyielding gaze. 

That was the only way to deal with a Black, show them their own worthlessness. Regulus made his way to the middle of the common room, though he was still a ways away from his older brother, wand in hand. By the looks of it, Regulus had just woken up. He had most likely heard Padfoot creeping around and had come to investigate. Only to be met by his brother. Seeing as there was no horror, or shock on his face, Sirius safely assumed Regulus hadn't seen his animagus form.

"I was saving my dearest brother for last," Sirius replied, trying to channel his mother’s ruthless disposition,"You aren't like the other ones, you deserved my personal attention."  
Sirius growled, he didn't miss Regulus’s shiver, or how he started to tremble lightly. His brother was never as good as Sirius at hiding his emotions, least of all his fear. Regulus was a beta, it wasn't in his nature to challenge an alpha. This confrontation was fighting against his very nature. Sirius gripped his wand, ready to start casting spells at a moments notice, and slowly made his way to Regulus. He moved with the fierceness of a wolf, channeling his Moony.

"You're here because of him, aren't you?" Regulus said trying to keep the fear from his features, though he was failing miserably.  
"Remus," he spat the name like it burned his mouth to say. It resembled their mother so much Sirius almost took a step back, but his gate didn’t falter. It reminded him that no matter how much the thing in front of him resembled the person he used to love, Regulus was not the same little boy.

"You know, I always thought you were using him. That you were only with him to piss Mother off. But you're serious aren't you? You actually love that contaminated, worthless, fre-"

Sirius's wand was up before the other boy could process it, and Regulus was hit with a wordless curse. From a young age, both boys had been taught how to do wordless magic because it reflected the control and power a wizard held in high society. Sirius had been a natural, but barely ever used the gift. He saw no reason for it, and had wanted to piss his mother off as often as possible at the time. But, now he used it. He was filled with so much rage and hatred towards Regulus, the words took too long to come out of his mouth. He needed to remind his brother who the stronger, more powerful of the two were. 

The curse sliced Regulus's cheek, leaving a deep gash in his cheek. To the beta’s credit, he barely made a noise and threw a curse back at Sirius immediately. The spell was weak at best, and both boys knew it. Sirius easily deflected, and took another step closer to Regulus so he could see the sweat dripping down his face.

"Don't ever insult Remus again, don't even dare to speak his name," Sirius practically shouted, they were lucky no one woke up. Fear shown in Regulus's eyes, a look Sirius remembered from when his brother watched his mother. But, it wasn't enough, not for Sirius. He was far too caught up in pain, and anger, and betrayal. He cast one more spell.

Time seemed to slow down as Regulus fell to the floor, hands clutching at his throat. Sirius stood, still, unrelenting, watching his younger brother panic. Regulus propped himself up on one hand, coughing and spluttering until he finally gagged up what had been stuck in his throat. Blood. Regulus was horrified as he looked at what had just come out of him.

"W-what did you do?" He asked terrified. Sirius smirked.

"I've been working on that little trick for a while," Sirius said, putting his wand away,"basically, whoever the spell gets cast on, they'll throw up all the blood in their body until there's none left and they wither up and die. I was saving it for a special occasion."

A look of horror passed across Regulus's face before he threw up more blood. "You're- you're lying, there's no way-"

"Am I?" Sirius asked as he watched Regulus cough up more and more blood until it was pooling on the floor.  
"You're starting to look a bit pale, little brother," Sirius growled. Sirius saw the exact moment that Regulus believed him. Sheer panic whitened the beta’s face even more, and his breathing turned heavy. "Stop it, make it stop, Sirius make it stop-"

"Silencio," Sirius muttered waving his wand at his brother. He was shaking, Regulus was too preoccupied to notice, but Sirius was shaking. The way Regulus had begged him for help reminded him far too much of protecting his brother as a child. Whether from their mother, or the nightmares she caused. Guilt crawled under the alpha’s skin.

"Promise me, that you will never hurt Remus again, promise that you’ll keep your filthy hands off of him, and I'll stop the curse before it gets too far. Promise me that you won't raise a finger to him, or any of my friends, and I'll leave right now."

Regulus was all too inclined to nod his head, remembering he couldn't speak Sirius took the charm off him.  
"Say it Regulus, swear it." Regulus coughed viciously once more, trying to get the fluid out of his throat, and spoke in a hoarse voice,"I promise...I promise I'll stay away from them. I won't touch them, and I won't ask anyone else to do it for me, just please Sirius, make this stop."  
There were tears in Regulus’s eyes now, threatening to spill over onto his cheeks.

For a moment, Sirius didn't want to. He was tempted to keep pushing his brother. He wanted to continue scaring him. He had hurt Remus, he dared to touch a hair on his head, Sirius would kill him- but he knew he couldn't. As much as he hated to admit it, this was his brother. Sirius cast the counter curse. Regulus sat gagging on the floor trying to finally catch his breath. Red spit was running down his chin and he was shaking.  
Sirius slipped his wand behind his ear,”Goodbye, Regulus.”  
Something in the alpha’s heart broke for the innocent, sweet child he used to know and love. Something in Sirius’s heart broke for himself, too. What had happened to the boy who loved so freely, and didn’t have a care in the world? The answer was jarring.

That boy had never existed. 

"You think you're so high and mighty, don't you, Sirius? Brave Gryffindor, honorable Gryffindor, you think you're so much better than the rest of us. But what you just did? Well, that would have made Mother proud."

Sirius didn't look back as he tried not to run from room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been working on this story for over a year now and its almost over and I’m emotional  
> This is also the first chapter I have written since 2016 i think the rest were written about two years ago and just wow  
> All the love

Sirius was bolting through the Hogwarts corridors, trying to ignore the guilt threatening to swallow him whole. Stone walls flew past until the alpha’s surroundings blurred into one long hall. Sirius was embarrassed to find he was lost, but at that moment he couldn’t care less.

The alpha was breathing heavy, even for the speed at which he was running. His eyes had turned traitor on him as tears blinded his sight. He was pathetic, not having cried in years. Yet, here he was.  
Sirius’s actions were replaying like a broken record over and over in his head. The sight of Regulus bent over in fear as blood poured from his mouth. The words his brother had spoke designed specifically to eat away at Sirius’s sanity.

“... _Mother would be proud_.”

He felt sick.  
Sirius never wanted to be associated with Walburga in any way. That woman was a monster. She was cruel and vicious to those she called family, and downright wicked to those who were not. She was the voice that haunted Sirius in his dreams, and the woman who hunted him during the day. She used fear to rule over those she saw as beneath her and Sirius…

Sirius was just like her.

The alpha fell to his knees right as the sick he had been trying to hold back poured out of him.  
Not a lot came up seeing as he hadn’t eaten dinner, but Sirius almost wished there was. Maybe if he emptied his stomach out, the pit of disgust and guilt he felt churning in his gut would empty out too.  
Sirius was shivering as he kneeled on all fours in the middle of an empty corridor, his own puke underneath him. Distantly, the alpha knew if he didn’t get up and leave someone would find him and he’d be in trouble. But, he couldn’t find the strength to stand.  
Maybe...maybe him wanted to get caught. Maybe if he was punished he wouldn’t feel this awful remorse coursing through him.

He had made Regulus afraid. He had made Regulus cry. He had hurt Regulus.  
  
Sirius’s brother was right, their mother would be proud. Sirius had turned out to be a monster, just like her.  
The alpha couldn’t hold back the tears that poured from his eyes. He was hyperventilating, and on the verge of a true panic attack. But, there was nothing he could do but succumb to the feelings. He was a monster after all, he deserved it.  
  
Sirius wasn't worthy of the word brave, or the red and gold he wore on his robes. He wasn’t worthy of the people who loved him, or the happiness they gave him. He wasn’t worthy of James, or Peter or Lily. Sirius certainly wasn’t worthy of Remus.

Kind, wonderful Remus who believed in him, who believed in everyone until they proved him otherwise. Remus, who had opened his heart to Sirius, who trusted Sirius to be a good person. Remus, who loved him. The omega asked so little of the alpha, and still Sirius had failed him.

It was never Remus who had been the monster, no matter what happened on the full moon. It had always been Sirius.

“You’re a monster,” Sirius whispered viciously to himself, rolling to his side and curling up against the floor.  
Pale moonlight shone in through a wall of windows, illuminating his failure for anyone to see. Sirius automatically drew his legs in close, and tucked his head. It was a defensive position he used when Walburga would hit him. But, he didn’t even deserve to do that. This time he wasn’t the victim. This time he was the merciless bastard who rained terror on others. His friends would hate him when they found out what he had done, and then, once again Sirius would be alone.

Which was more than he deserved, he reminded himself.  
But, knowing the truth didn’t make it any easier to deal with. Above all, Sirius wished to stop the feeling of his heart being ripped out at the thought of never holding Remus in his arms again.  
The scene in his mind was already so vivid.

The alpha would return to the dorm room, and without fail, Remus would make a rush for him. It would startle Sirius at first even if he had already prepared for it. Against his better judgment, Sirius would hold onto Remus like his world was ending. It certainly would feel that way.  
Nonetheless, Remus’s familiar weight in his arms would soothe him. The omega’s scent in his nose, his warm body pressed against Sirius’s own, Remus’s arms wrapped tightly around his body would feel so good Sirius would forget anything had been wrong. But, the moment would end, and Remus would step back. He’d ask with wide, gold eyes like honey, what had happened. He would have trusted Sirius to do the right thing without taking it too far. And, Sirius would never be able to lie to his Moony. The Alpha would admit to the truth with his head hung in shame, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.  
Without fail, Remus’s smile would melt off his face as he heard the story, and he’d start backing farther and farther away. Fear in his eyes. Fear because Sirius was no better than the Slytherins. He was worse.

Finally, Remus would walk away, and Sirius would lose the most important thing in his life.

Sirius shivered as he lay against the stone floor. He had half a mind to sleep out here for the night and hope no one found him before morning. He was tired enough that the wall was looking more and more like a comfortable place to nap. But, he knew he couldn’t. He would only be postponing the inevitable, and as of right now Remus was still worried for him. Even if by this time tomorrow Remus absolutely hated him, at the moment he didn’t and Sirius wouldn’t put him through any unnecessary distress.  
He just hoped Remus knew he could never hate Sirius more than Sirius could hate himself.  
The alpha inhaled deeply, preparing himself for heartbreak while he got to his feet, using the wall for support. His head was spinning, and his knees were wobbling, and he wondered if this was what Remus felt like his pre-heat week. But, quickly discarded the thought.

Soon enough Remus wasn’t going to be Sirius’s omega anymore, and he’d have no reason to worry for him. Maybe it was a good thing they had never bonded properly, that way Remus wouldn’t be in too much pain, if any at all. It would kill Sirius either way, but he didn’t want Remus to hurt. He never did.  
Sirius scowled, there he went again. It wasn’t his right to worry anymore. Remus would find someone who was actually worth his time. Someone who would hold his hand during the day, cuddle him at night, kiss his forehead, and care for him during his heats.  
The thought alone was a bitter taste in the alpha’s mouth. Jealousy burned in Sirius’s gut, and even though no one was around he was growling ferociously. No one was allowed to touch his mate. No one was going to lay their filthy paws on him or touch him with their lips. Remus was his, all his-

“Sirius,” came an achingly familiar voice from the darkness. A whine escaped the alpha, that voice was home.

“Oh, Padfoot,” Remus whispered, throwing off the invisibility cloak, and vanishing the sick still on the ground with a wave of his wand, “what happened to you?”

Sirius wanted to hold himself back, he knew throwing himself into Remus’s arms now would only cause him more pain later. But, he couldn’t help himself.  
His omega stood in the center of the hall, moonlight illuminating his frame making it look like his skin was glowing. He was wearing one of Sirius’s favorite muggle t-shirts and checkered pajama bottoms, he had never looked lovelier.  
Sirius rushed Remus, pulling the angular boy tightly against him. As the alpha had predicted, once his arms wrapped around Remus, Moony was putty in his hands.  
The omega fell against him so lovely, grasping onto Sirius like he was afraid the alpha would leave. Sirius felt a broken chuckle at the back of his throat, but refrained. He wasn’t going anywhere, not until Remus wanted him to. Which looked to be sooner than he’d liked.

Without realizing, tears had started to escape down his cheeks once again as he cried into Remus’s shoulder. Sirius didn’t deserve the kindness Remus was showing him, but he ached for it nonetheless.

“It's ok, Padfoot,” Remus whispered to him, petting his hair, “everything is going to be ok.”  
Pain cut deep in Sirius’s gut. Nothing was ok, nothing was ever going to be ok again.  
All of a sudden, the omega’s arms felt claustrophobic, his soft voice grating against Sirius’s ears. In that instance the alpha couldn’t stand to be near Remus. Not with the knowledge that in a few moments he would pull away from him in horror. Sirius couldn’t handle it, he ripped himself out of Moony’s arms pretending not to hear the sad whimper that sounded from the omega’s throat.  
Remus made to follow Sirius, but the alpha stopped him.

“No,” Sirius insisted every time Remus tried to come for him, until the omega finally backed away, crossing his arms defensively.

“Stay away from me, Remus,” Sirius spat, trying to get the message across that he was dangerous and no longer safe for the omega anymore. Remus only shook his head, worry emanating off him in waves.

“Sirius, please,” Remus insisted reaching a tentative hand out, pulling back when Sirius flinched. The alpha hated himself for causing Remus to worry, but knew it was better this way.  
If only Moony would understand that. Not that Sirius expected him too. Remus was stronger and more stubborn than anyone he knew.

“What happened Sirius,” Remus said, a fierce determination in his eyes. The alpha froze where he stood, knowing his fear was obvious for Remus to see. That question was the one Sirius had dreaded the most. He wouldn't be able to lie, not when his omega was looking so earnest and desperate to help him. This was it. This was the end. Sirius took another step away from Remus until he was almost completely covered by darkness.

“I terrified him, Moony,” Sirius whispered, half hoping Remus wouldn’t hear him.

The omega stayed quiet while he waited for Sirius to explain further.

“I scared the others a little, nothing bad. But… you should have seen Regulus’s face. He was terrified of me. You know that spell me and James have been working on to get out of class?” Sirius sad with a humorless laugh. Remus nodded tentatively, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

“I used it on him,” Sirius said, his voice void of emotion.

“So what?” Remus asked, confused. He didn’t see how that was enough cause for Sirius to freak out like this.  
“It's a gag spell,” the omega said, “It mass produces the spit in your mouth and taints it red, to make it look like your throwing up blood. I gave you the idea in the first place… unwillingly, mind you, but still.”  
Remus smiled softly, trying to coax Sirius into the light of the moon again. But, when he tried to take a step closer, Sirius took another step back.

“Sirius,” Remus urged, “what’s the matter, that spell is completely harmless. Regulus is fine.”  
Sirius only shook his head, the words to explain himself lodging in his throat.

“He didn’t know,” the alpha gasped, “he didn’t know it was harmless, and I-I had to protect you from him Moony. I couldn’t let him hurt you anymore.”  
Sirius thoughts were flying a mile a minute, he couldn’t seem to make his brain slow down. The alpha didn't even notice how close Remus had gotten to him until the other boy rested a hand on his cheek. Sirius’s eyes went wide, and he stumbled back, managing to trip over himself and crash to the floor.

“Pads,” Remus cried and fell to the ground next to him, worried for his alpha, “are you alright? Did you hurt anything?”  
Sirius didn’t deserve the concern in the omega’s voice.

“Get away,” he ordered Remus. The omega paused for only moment, getting more and more frustrated with his own inability to help. Finally, he slid himself away from the alpha, his own hackles rising. It was another guilt to add to Sirius’s ever growing pile.

“I don’t understand,” Remus finally whispered.

Sirius clenched his fists, feeling himself tremble with the weight of his emotions.

“You’re smart Remus, don’t play dumb. It isn’t becoming of you. I told Regulus the spell would kill him without a counter curse. I told him the spell would make him throw up all the blood in his body until it killed him. I let my brother believe I was trying to murder him, and you know what…”  
Finally, Remus’s face seemed to go slack with understanding.

Sirius pulled his legs up to him and rested his head on his knees, hot tears sliding down his face.  
“I’d do it all again if it meant you were safe. I’d become a monster for the rest of my life if it kept you away from them.”

Sirius expected Remus to yell at him. He expected the omega to be disgusted and call him every name in the book. What he didn’t expect was for the omega to throw himself into Sirius’s arms. The weight of the other boy, as gangly as he was, was enough to knock the alpha onto his back. At first, Sirius was convinced Moony was going to punch him. He lay back, dead weight for Remus to take a swing at. He’d never fight against the omega. Remus was his entire world.  
But, instead of the pain Sirius was expecting, Remus straddled his hips and pressed his mouth firmly against Sirius’s own.

The alpha’s eyes went wide at the sudden contact, not having time to reciprocate before Remus was pulling back. Sirius whimpered.

“No,” the omega ordered, pinning Sirius down effectively, “you got your turn now it’s mine. You, Sirius Black, are not a monster by any means. The fact that you feel guilty about what happened is enough to prove that. You were put in a shitty situation, and for that I’m sorry, but you did what you had to do. I could never hate you for that.”

“But-”

Remus didn’t let him finish, “Did you hurt him, Sirius? Did you use an unforgivable curse on him? No, you scared him because otherwise he was going to hurt you. You did what you felt you had to, and I will stand behind you on that because I trust you. I trust that that was the only option you could come up with. If there was a less harmful solution, you couldn’t find it. I trust you. You protected us, you protected me and for that I will forever be grateful. I run with monsters, Sirius, you are not one of the.”

Sirius had to take a moment to process Remus’s words. He didn’t...hate him. He wasn't going to leave him and find someone else. Remus understood what Sirius had been forced into, and didn’t hate him for it. Remus saw every inch of Sirius, the good parts the bad parts and everything in between. And Remus found him to be worth it. Sirius’s fears melted away the longer he stared lovingly into Remus’s golden eyes. The way the omega’s hair framed his face giving him a glowing halo.

Sirius had fallen hard, he would be the first to admit it.

The alpha wasted no more time in grabbing the back of Remus’s head, pulling him down, and smashing their mouths together. It was nothing like the chaste press of lips Remus had given him a moment earlier.  
Oh no, it was hot, open mouths, and tongues dancing around each other. It was love and need and passion and so intense it left Sirius’s head reeling. The two only broke away once the need for air became too much. Sirius opened his eyes to Remus, whose lips were spitslicked and swollen. The omega’s eyes were blown wide, his cheeks red.  
God, he really was beautiful.

“I love you,” the phrase blurted past Sirius’s defenses.  
But, the need to say those three words had been too great to repress. It wasn’t the first time Sirius had said it, but the desire to reiterate the statement was never a burden. And it made Remus smile ridiculously wide. The omega giggled before rubbing Sirius’s nose lightly with his own.  
The alpha pushed himself up on his hands, wrapping one arm around Remus’s waist.

“What did I do to deserve you,” Sirius murmured to himself, going in to kiss both of Remus’s cheeks. The omega smiled wider.

“Nothing good, I don’t think,” he responded, wrapping his own arms around the alpha’s neck. Sirius threw his head back in a laugh before kissing the center of Remus’s neck.

“I disagree my dear Moony,” Sirius insisted, “in another life I must have been very, very good so in this one I could do very, very bad things to you.”

Remus sucked in a sharp breath, not expecting the bolt of arousal that shot down his spine at the alpha’s words. Suddenly, playful was not a word he would use to describe their interaction.

No longer was this an innocent moment between lovers. Even if Sirius hadn’t spoken as he had, Remus felt something start to trickle down his thigh. His pad insufficient against the force of his slick. Sirius inhaled deeply, his own eyes blowing wide at the scent. His grip on Remus’s hip tightened possessively, and he growled in the omega’s ear.

“Mine.”

Remus shivered, letting out a small, breathy moan.

He was going into heat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally i don’t do end notes but i am this time to say that the plot of the story is basically over the next chapter is just going to be Remus’s heat and fluff so for anyone who doesn’t like smut this is the last chapter for you hope you enjoyed reading  
> All the love


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im posting early because its the last chapter and i just finished and i thought it was about time i finished it  
> This btw is all smut all of it is smutty smut smut with some slight dom/sub stuff and collars and just smut so yeah...anyway thank you to everyone who has read this its been two years in the making  
> All the love (sorry if its written rlly badly)

If you asked Remus what happened from the moment he felt the first tells of his heat, to Sirius getting the two of them to their designated heat room in Gryffindor tower, he’d stare blankly at you and then question why Sirius wasn’t inside of him that instant.

One moment the omega had been trying to comfort his distressed alpha in the middle of a Hogwarts corridor and the next he was being laid down, far too gently for how he felt, against cotton sheets. As soon as the first cramp hit him, and burning hot arousal flowed through him, his mind had turned to mush. Later, he would recall whimpering pathetically for Sirius to just take him already, causing the alpha to push him up against a corridor wall and frantically make out with him until he found the strength to pull away.   
But, for now he was content with the knowledge that his alpha was taking care of him. As long as Remus was with Sirius, he would be safe. He was always so safe with Sirius. He loved Sirius with everything he had. Sirius was so good to him-

A loud wanton moan pushed its way from Remus’s mouth when another cramp hit. More slick was forced out of him and coated his underwear. He was still clothed, as Sirius had refused to undress him as he had begged him to. The fabric was making him burn up, but it was providing small friction on his aching member. With only his own release in mind, Remus arched up, trying to chase the light friction. Whimpering pathetically when it wasn’t enough.

“Fuck… Moony,” Sirius’s wrecked voice came from the front of the bed where he was frantically tearing through the drawers they had stocked full of provisions earlier in the week.   
Remus had almost forgotten about his alpha in his urgency for friction, but as soon as he heard Sirius’s voice he felt his body turn to jelly. No longer would pseudo friction be enough for him, he wanted Sirius and he wanted him now.

“Alpha...” Remus whimpered, voice breathy. Sirius froze where he was, eyes slowly taking in the omega’s needy form. Remus felt smug knowing he had the alpha’s full attention.

 _As it always should be_ , a possessive voice in the back of his head whispered.

Remus needed his alpha, and he wasn’t above playing dirty to get what he wanted. Using all the concentration he still had left, the omega brought a shaking hand up to push Sirius’s borrowed t-shirt off his body. Underneath revealed the omega’s quivering abdomen.

The alpha’s eyes were focused solely on Remus’s hand as he exposed more and more of his torso. Finally, when Remus had it completely over his head and on the floor, Sirius growled.

The omega knew exactly the picture he painted. He was spread across the mattress, aching for Sirius. He still smelled of the alpha’s clothes, and was begging for him. Sirius didn’t stand a chance.

“Please…” Remus whimpered trailing his hands down his torso to push his pants down only a little, revealing to the alpha the slightest peak of his flushed cock. Remus loved doing this to Sirius, playing with him, toying with him, until he...snapped.

What Remus loved most about sex with Sirius, besides the fantastic orgasms, was that while the omega pretended to have the upper hand, he was never actually in control. Never for long at least.

Sirius closed the drawer he had been searching through with a bang. His eyes had gone from a light grey to a dark storm, his chest was puffed out, and his shoulders were drawn back.

This wasn’t just Sirius anymore.   
This was Sirius the alpha. The man who could take Remus apart with a flick of his wrist and have the omega begging for mercy over and over again. This was the Sirius Remus needed right now.

“Stop moving,” Sirius ordered, throwing onto the bed a bottle of lube and to the omega’s delight his collar. Normally, the first time the alpha took Remus, they needed the extra slick. But, Remus was positively dripping and knew he wouldn’t need more lubricant. The collar on the other hand, he ached to feel it rest around his neck while Sirius fucked into him.

The alpha walked with a power to the side of the bed, never taking his eyes off Remus. Sirius’s gaze burned through the omega more than his heat ever could. Sirius was taking Remus apart solely with his eyes and the omega was going to break long before the alpha ever got his hands on him. Remus watched as Sirius unbuttoned his own shirt, and threw it to the floor to reveal his muscled form.

Remus shivered, and tried to arch himself closer to the alpha. Sirius smirked just as Remus realized his mistake. Before the omega could take a breath, Sirius was on him. His knees forcing Remus’s apart, and his hands like shackles around Remus’s wrists. The omega was weak for it.

Even through his sleep pants, Remus could smell his own arousal permeate the room. He could only imagine what it was doing to Sirius. The omega was soaked through from where his hole was pushing out copious amounts of slick, and his cock was leaking precome. It didn’t take much for Remus to notice Sirius’s own desire straining in the confines of his school uniform. Knowing he was already pushing the limits Sirius had only just set, the omega ground himself down. The alpha’s own arousal fit itself snugly against Remus’s perineum. Neither party was able to hold back a moan. But, it only increased Sirius’s resolve to get Remus under control.

“I said,” the alpha growled, noticing how Remus’s eyes grew impossibly darker, “Stop moving.”

That voice. That was the voice Remus couldn’t resist even if he tried. Immediately, he went lax in the alpha’s arms no matter how his body tormented him. The need to follow orders overriding his entire system.  
Sirius grinned wickedly before brushing his lips across Remus’s neck, where their mating mark would go. He kissed the spot once, like a promise before sucking hard. It wasn’t enough to break the skin, but it was enough to drive Remus crazy.

“Sirius,” the omega moaned. Everywhere the alpha’s mouth touched him felt like electricity shooting down his body.

“You never learn do you, love,” Sirius whispered all too smug in Remus’s ear, tugging at the lobe until the omega whimpered.

“Stay still, or this is going to be a long night for you,” Sirius murmured. They both knew he would never go through with the threat. He could never hold out on his omega.   
But, that didn’t mean Sirius wouldn’t draw the experience out. He would string Remus along until his body was a live wire, everywhere the alpha touched feeling like he would fall apart. Remus loved that feeling, but not tonight, not when he was like this.

“Alpha,” he whispered the title like a prayer knowing exactly what it did to Sirius. The alpha in question ground himself into Remus, sucking harshly at the omega’s neck where he knew there would be bruising later. Remus looked forward to it.

“You’re so bad, Remus,” Sirius chuckled into the omega’s ear before starting to slide down Remus’s body. The omega watched, entranced, as Sirius kissed his way down his torso. The alpha played with Remus’s nipples for only a moment before continuing to slide down his body.

“Have you ever heard what some of these teachers think of you? They praise you Remus. They think you’re the most innocent omega, they think we’ve corrupted you. They don’t know what you really are though,” Sirius whispered, breathing warm puffs of air over the omega’s damp skin, making him shiver.

Remus was trying so hard to stay still for Sirius, but it was hard when the alpha said things like that. Remus was so fucking hard. He hadn’t had release once this night when normally he’d of had two orgasms by now.

Remus watched Sirius’s plump lips stop just over the omega’s obvious bulge. How Remus ached to thrust up into the hot mouth he could feel through his pants. He knew if he didn't keep himself occupied he’d lose it, and Sirius would be disappointed. Remus’s instincts screamed at him, he couldn't have that.

“What-What am I really?” Remus asked, trying to keep Sirius’s mouth occupied when he’d really rather have it somewhere else.

This time, Sirius slid his hands down Remus’s chest, pinching at his nipples until they were hard, and finally resting his hands at the top of Remus’s bottoms. The alpha grabbed the sides of both his pants and underwear slowly pulling them off Remus’s body. The omega lay completely still even though he longed to kick the fabric off him in his rush to have Sirius on him, in him.

Remus’s hole clenched, he needed something _in_ him.

The omega wasn't even bothering to hide his moans and whimpers, too far gone to care. His noises only grew louder when he finally lay bare before his alpha. His aching cock and weeping hole there for anyone to see. Sirius took a long look, making Remus squirm, before making a move. The alpha spread the omega’s legs, keeping both hands firmly on his thighs to keep him exposed. Sirius let a pleased growl escape him when he noticed the omega’s hole winking at him, urging him on.

“Needy, Remus,” Sirius said, his voice sounding like pure sex, “You’re so goddamn needy, love.”  
Those were the only words spoken for a while as Sirius plunged into the omega’s hole with his tongue, eating Remus out like his life depended on it.

Remus screamed. No longer was Sirius’s initial rule even a thought in his mind as the omega’s hands found purchase in the alpha’s long locks of black hair and he ground himself onto Sirius’s face. God, this was one of Remus’s favorite things besides having Sirius’s dick actually in him.

Sirius’s tongue was pure magic, for nothing mundane could ever feel that good.  
The alpha thrust the wet muscle in and out of Remus’s considerably loose hole, going as far in as he could before pulling back out and biting lightly on the sensitive rim. Remus was squirming helplessly. The omega was unable to move his legs due to Sirius’s hold, and unable to push Sirius farther into him. He was helpless, exactly how Sirius wanted him. Though it didn’t much matter. Sirius was vigorously eating Remus out. He took what he wanted and held nothing back. It wasn’t long before the omega was orgasming for the first time that night, his stomach flexing as come spilled from him. Only once the last of Remus’s aftershocks died down did Sirius pull away.

Remus could have been ready again from the sight of the alpha alone. The omega was almost embarrassed to see his own slick dripping down Sirius’s face. Even more so when the alpha wipped it away with his fingers before sucking the digits into his mouth to taste all of the omega. It was a true test on Remus’s refractory period.

“God, Remus,” Sirius spoke, his voice deeper then normal, “You’re so wet for me love, I don’t even think we need lube this first time.” Remus blushed a million different shades of red and crossed his arms over his face. Sirius couldn’t have that.

“Oh no, love, you’re not hiding from me,” Sirius grabbed Remus’s wrists again and pulled his arms away gently. Then the alpha brought his face close to the omegas’. Almost so their lips were touching, but not quite.

“Kiss me, Remus,” Sirius urged, “taste yourself on my lips, see for yourself just how wet you are.”   
Remus whimpered at his alpha’s dirty mouth.

“Now, Remus. Before it’s all gone,” Sirius ordered.   
Remus didn’t need to be told again. He surged up catching the alpha’s lips with his own, clumsy as they were with his muddled brain. Nonetheless, Sirius opened his mouth for Remus to explore, for Remus to take back what was his in the first place. As ordered, the omega licked the alpha’s mouth clean. Tasting his slick mixed with Sirius’s own flavor was so much hotter than he ever thought it would be. He pawed at the alpha desperately, trying to get impossibly closer.

Sirius finally pulled away when the need for air was too great, though Remus tried to chase their mixed tastes. Sirius only smiled and pecked Remus’s forehead.

“Good boy,” he whispered, drugging Remus with his alpha scent and his words. It was obvious that Sirius noticed, too.

“Fuck Remus, you’d do anything I wanted you to like this. I could tell you not to touch yourself for an hour and you wouldn’t, knowing that your heat would make you feel like you were on fire without the contact. Or, I could do the opposite. I could tell you to touch yourself, finger yourself until you were coming dry and you’d still beg for more. I could tell you to ride me while I just sit there and watch you. I’d put your collar on you, and I’d watch you fuck yourself on me, and I wouldn’t move a muscle to help. You’d be begging in no time, that would be a beautiful sight would it not?”

Remus eyes were hazy with lust, his heat burning him up. His need for Sirius’s touch making him agree to just about anything.  
  
“Yeah,” Remus said, not knowing what he was setting himself up for until it was too late.  
The warmth of Sirius’s body was pulled away from the omega who whined pathetically.

“Get to it, then,” Sirius said, finally stripping himself of his pants. A smug smile, only the alpha managed to make sexy, sat on his lips.

“W-what?” Remus asked, coming back to himself once Sirius moved far enough away his presence wasn’t clouding all of the omega’s good judgement. The alpha only chuckled. He knew exactly what he had done to the other boy.

Sirius crossed his arms behind his head, laying himself out for viewing pleasure. His dick was on full display for Remus, who was having a hard time (get it hard) looking away.

But, who could blame him?

Sirius stood at attention, his long, thick cock dripping with pre-come that made Remus want to lap it up.   
Sirius snapped his fingers, gaining the omega’s undivided attention. By the gleam in his eyes, it wasn’t a far jump to figure out Sirius knew exactly what Remus had been staring at.

“Ride me Remus, while I sit here and watch. You disobeyed orders. I told you to stay still and you couldn’t. So you’re going to have to do the work for your next orgasm. Until I say otherwise. Got it?”

Remus nodded. The mental image was hot he’d admit that, but he knew from past experience that riding Sirius took a considerate amount of energy.  
Remus was afraid he wouldn’t be able to maintain consistency in his current state.

But, he wanted to obey, oh so badly.

As Sirius had said, he had disobeyed. If this is what he had to do to prove himself once more, he would gladly accept the challenge. Carefully, Remus pushed himself up on shaking limbs. The new sitting position made his head spin, and he was afraid he would fall over. But, Sirius grabbed him.

Forgetting, for the moment, the game the two were playing, a concerned look flashed across Sirius’s face. The alpha quickly sat up and his arms came around Remus to hold him steady. The omega couldn’t help but fall into it.

“Hey, hey, shhh, Remus you’re ok,” Sirius whispered as the omega started rubbing his head in the crook of the alpha’s neck, “If this is too much right now, you have to tell me Remus. We can play around later. But, if rightnow you need me just to fuck you, you need to tell me.”

Remus’s alpha sounded concerned, which he did not like at all. The spicy scent of his arousal mixing with the sourness of worry was not ok, and the omega vowed to fix it.

“I can keep going, Sirius,” Remus mumbled, forcing himself to pull away, “just the change of position was a lot, that's all.”

Sirius brow was still furrowed, as he still had his doubts, but he eventually relented to the omega’s wishes.

“Alright,” Sirius said, moving to kneel, “Do you want your collar now, love?” He asked already reaching for the worn leather.

Remus whimpered, “Yes, please…”

Sirius chuckled, “That’s what I thought.”

The alpha grabbed the collar, and turned back to his boyfriend, “Tilt your head up, Moony.”

Remus easily tipped back his head, exposing his neck for the alpha’s viewing.

The omega closed his eyes as he waited eagerly for supple leather to wrap around his throat. Shivering in delight when it finally sat, snugly against his skin. When Remus opened his eyes again, he was far from surprised to see Sirius staring unabashedly.

The alpha’s hand on his cock to stop himself from coming.

“You’re gorgeous,” Sirius’s eyes were wide, and his knees spread. Not for the first time Remus wondered what he had done in life to deserve him.

“Lay down,” Remus said, his voice quivering with lust. Sirius smiled at him sweetly, and kissed his forehead before laying back down on the comforter. This time he used his elbows to prop himself up, and laid his feet on the bed so Remus could use the alpha’s thighs to hold himself up. Remus was grateful as he knew he would need the extra support.

Carefully, the omega crawled over the expanse of the bed. He needed Sirius’s help getting his legs on either side of the alpha’s torso, but finally managed to get in the proper position for what he was about to do.   
Already Remus’s found his thighs were quivering due to his weight hovering over his alpha’s body. Even with his hands using Sirius’s abdomen as a crutch, his body wasn’t in the state to do this. He felt like a fool. Sirius thought different. 

“Beautiful,” was all he had to say about the sight, making Remus blush.

All too soon, the alpha’s hands were gone from where they had rested on the omega's thighs. Remus was forced to rest all his body weight on his arms, as his legs were jello, but was thankful in the end. Sirius used both hands to position himself for Remus to slide down on. The sight alone made the omega’s mouth salivate.

“Come on, omega,” Sirius said in a taunting voice, “Prove yourself to me.”

Remus threw his head back, exposing the collar once again to Sirius’s gaze. Finally, finally he let himself go, and sunk down onto the alpha’s hard length.

The reaction was immediate. Both boy’s moans were loud in the otherwise silent room.   
Remus had never been so glad the walls were charmed to be soundproof.

Sirius felt huge in him, even with his hole being so loose. The omega felt like he was about to be torn in two, and he loved it. He wished he could feel this good and satisfied all the time.   
Once Remus took enough time to adjust, he tentatively started grinding down on the cock inside him.

“Moony,” Sirius moaned throwing his head back. As the alpha had promised, he wasn’t helping at all. Sirius was letting Remus do all the work, exhausting himself in his need to be filled over and over again by Sirius’s cock.

And Remus was desperate for it.

He knew he was playing right into Sirius’s games but he couldn’t help it. He needed this too badly. After the past week they had had, this release was the cure his body called for.

Remus quickly went from grinding tentatively to doing his best to bounce on Sirius cock. He’d go as far up as he could before plopping back down. The omega didn’t have the muscle control for any sort of finesse, but neither cared if the sounds of pleased moaning was anything to go by.

In fact, that was probably exactly what Sirius had been hoping for anyway.   
The alpha wanted to see Remus lose himself in his need for Sirius. He wanted him to be messy, and desperate.

Remus could easily provide that for him.

But, as he had predicted, Remus was quickly losing stamina. Yet, he was so close to release that he couldn’t force himself to stop.

Everytime the omega thrust himself down, Sirius’s cock would brush his prostate and it was driving him crazy. It was so much, but at the same time it wasn't enough.  
It wasn’t the pounding Remus needed, and he didn’t have the energy to provide it for himself.

“Sirius…” Remus whimpered in between heavy breaths, “Please…”   
He couldn’t even produce the words needed to beg, which Sirius immediately honed in on. Right as Remus got to the top of the next thrust, Sirius growled out.

“Stop.”

Remus froze. A frustrated moan falling from his lips. He was almost there. Sirius’s dick was right underneath him and he was trembling with the effort to hold himself up. But, it didn’t matter. Remus had to keep still, his alpha told him to.

“You’re dripping,” Sirius said, his cheeks flushed the same color as his cock, “You’re slick is literally dripping from your hole onto me, Moony, you are so hot, love. Fuck.”

“Please,” Remus cried, no longer able to take the teasing when he felt like he was a second away from exploding, “Please, Sirius, fuck me. I can’t take it anymore.”

Sirius froze, his eyes glinting with mischief. Slowly the alpha raised himself up so he was a hair's breadth away from the trembling omega. Remus was still holding himself up as he hadn’t been given permission to do otherwise.

“Oh, Remus,” Sirius said petting the side of the omega’s face with his thumb, “All you had to do was ask.”

Remus didn’t even have time to retort before Sirius flipped them over and sheathed himself inside the omega, pounding into him like nothing else mattered. Which to Remus, nothing else did.   
The omega’s body bowed, this this was what he wanted. What he needed. For Sirius to take him over and over again until he couldn’t breathe. Each thrust was hitting his prostate dead on and it took less than ten more thrusts for Remus to spill all over himself.

“Fuck… Sirius, alpha,” he moaned as aftershocks wracked his frame. Sirius wasn’t close behind as he thrusted hard two more times before stilling and pouring into Remus’s body. Remus was on a special potion for all omegas at the school that prevented him from getting pregnant. But, he was still surprised when he felt Sirius inflate inside of him. He hadn’t expected that.

Sirius was knotting him.

Remus had read that knotting only happened when the person had found their true mate, the one their body deems the best match. Remus shivered before relaxing completely into Sirius’s arms, a happy, sated smile on his face. He knew exactly what was happening and he couldn’t be more pleased.

The omega clenched down rhythmically on the cock inside of him to help Sirius through his aftershocks. Remus’s own penis was twitching as if to release again, though nothing came out.

Finally, Sirius collapsed on top of the omega, and gently pulled free. Remus whimpered as he felt the alpha’s come start to slip out of him, feeling the odd desire to keep all of what Sirius gave him inside. As if sensing what Remus wanted, Sirius gently slid his hand down to Remus’s abused hole. Carefully, he sheathed two fingers back inside the omega to stopper the flow that otherwise would be steadily leaking.

“I know- I know we said it would be smart to wait until after school to bond properly, but Remus… I just knotted you. There is no one else for me but you-”

“Yes,” Remus said automatically, “Bond with me Sirius, please.”

The alpha smiled lovingly as he bent his head down. He had to use one hand to lift the collar up so it was out of the way of Remus’s scent gland, but once that was done the alpha bent down, teeth hovering over Remus’s skin. The omega waited with anticipation as he felt Sirius’s warm breath on his neck. This scar would add to his collection. The only different being Remus would cherish it.

“I love you,” Sirius murmured before biting down.

Maybe for the first time, Remus had no doubts that the deceleration was one hundred percent true.

“I love you, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter isn’t great because i did literally just finish and edit it pretty quickly and again thank you to all my wolfstar lovelys out there who leave kudos and comments i see you i appreciate the shit out of you  
> All the fucking love


End file.
